This Is Our Story

Japan Day#9 : Back...

2012-02-20T23:22:00.002+08:00

Finally you coming back today...

Suppose to be landed already...

But msg you no reply..

How come you can don't care me? :(

How come he will msg me when i just post something at facebook and ask me what happen?

I want want is not his concern..

I want you to concern..

You really don't care about me already ma?

Really really sorry...

Japan Day#8 : Day2..Lost..

2012-02-20T01:28:00.001+08:00

Finally get to talk to you more today...

I wanted to don't talk to you for this last 2 days..

But i can't make it..

How to ask me don't contact you for the rest of my life?

People say must cut down all the contact so that can forget about you..

But how?

I really don't want to let you go...

Sorry...

I love you more than I know..

Japan Day#7 : GP Kobe.. U made it..

2012-02-19T01:45:00.003+08:00

You made it to day 2 without me..

Even got featured match...

Is it really..

I'm the one that making you bad this few years..

Everytime i go..

You sure didn't get it..

Or maybe once or twice..

Like game day and some other ptq ot gpt...

I miss you alot...

I ask whether can call you ornot..

You say cannot say expensive...

Use wifi no need money wan ma..

Dear a..

Really can't do anything le ma?

I really very tired le..

Sad sad..

Do so many things...

Nothing seems to work out..

Maybe people will say..

Love shouldn't think of any return..

But..

I need you...

Without you..

What i do also no use... :(

Good luck for tomorrow draft..

Japan Day#6 : Kobe..Snowing..

2012-02-17T22:49:00.002+08:00

Didn't heard from you since yesterday..

But saw some of your pictures..

Already in Kobe with slight now in Kyoto earlier is it?

So nice..

Finally get to see snow..

How i wish..

To be with you..

Maybe you don't remember le..

You say want to bring me see snow..

Go disneyland..

See fireworks...

When will we be there?

Or will this even happened??

Yesterday..I bought our airticket to Bali..

I wonder whether will this trip event take place??

Because its next year....

This year..also don't know how to continue yet..

Today I went alot place..

To pick up stuff for you..

First time..

I drive to so busy place..

So small lane..

No parking...

I hope you will like them...

I miss you..

Japan Day#5 : Kyoto.. Relax day...

2012-02-16T23:17:00.004+08:00

You say today no sightseeing..

Only relax...

As I told you..

I wanted to type DEAR!

You suddenly reply me in the afternoon..

Although only a few reply..

But also good..

Usually afternoon you didn't reply me..

But till night..

You didn't online le..

You ok ma?

Sleep d?

So fast..

Tomorrow friday le..

Alot things to do tomorrow..

Scare o..

Need drive far far..

After tomorrow...

We will see how it goes lo..

Love you dear..

Japan Day#4 : Kyoto... Plus crazy women...

2012-02-15T23:17:00.003+08:00

Back to no reply again...

Aiks..

Today heard from office that i'm "wu lei jin"..

Huhu..

I didn't lo..

People like me..

I can't stop them from messaging me..

And she pretend talk like me..

Which doesn't sound like me at all...

Omg..

Then say my ambition is to become a feng shui sifu..

Open feng shui shop..

Does she knows what she's saying after all?

Does she really know me??

Don't even have that in my list...

Really good imagination...

Plus she says that she knows me very well..

From a friend..

Unknown friend..

I wonder who is that..

Her invisible friend I guess...

How come got such person on earth???

Spoil my image... :(

Already not happy..

Somemore give people say like that...

Huhu...

*************

Just finish typing this..

Then you reply d..

Say want sleep d..

Tired...

Good night my dear..

Japan Day#3 : Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T19:56:00.003+08:00

I bought something for you..

But don't know whether I should give you ornot...

Hmm..

Think think...

Do you still love me?

I will always do..

***************

You just now wish me "Happy Valentines Day"

Happy :)

I not sure you use what type of thinking wish me that but I'm happy that you still remember to wish me..

Thanks dear...

Although i might not be ur valentine now..

Not beside me right now...

I know that you are having a great time..

I'm alone..

and I do care..

Hope you have fun..

Must take care..

Don't catch cold k...

王力宏 ~ 依然愛你 Yi Ran Ai Ni 官方完整版 MV

2012-02-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

Yi shan yi shan liang jing jing
Liu xia sui yue de hen ji
Wo de shi jie de zhong xin
Yi ran hai shi ni

Yi nian yi nian you yi nian
Fei shi jin zai yi zhuan yan
Wei yi yong yuan bu gai bian
Shi bu ting de gai bian

Wo bu xiang cong qian de zi ji
Ni ye you dian bu xiang ni
Dan zai wo yan zhong ni de xiao
Yi ran de mei li

Ri zi zhi neng wang qian zou
Yi ge fang xiang shun shi zhong
Bu zhi dao hai you duo jiu
Suo yi yao rang ni dong

Wo yi ran ai ni
Jiu shi wei yi de tui lu
Wo yi ran zhen xi
shi shi ke ke de xing fu
Ni mei ge hu xi
Mei yi ge dong zuo
Mei ge biao qing
Dao zui hou yi ding hui
Yi ran ai ni

Wo yi ran ai ni
Huo xu shi ming zhong zhu ding
Duo nian zhi hou
Ren he ren dou wu fa dai ti
Na xie shi guang shi wo zhe yi bei zi zui mei hao de
Na xie hui yi
Yi ran wu fa wang ji

Wo yi ran ai ni
Jiu shi wei yi de tui lu
Wo yi ran zhen xi
shi shi ke ke de xing fu
Ni mei ge hu xi
Mei ge dong zuo
Mei ge biao qing
Dao zui hou yi ding hui
Yi ran ai ni

Ni mei ge hu xi
Mei yi ge dong zuo
Mei yi ge biao qing
Dao yong yuan yi ding hui
Yi ran ai ni

Japan Day#2 : Valentine's Day eve..

2012-02-14T01:15:00.003+08:00

Went and celebrate Yee Tieng's Birthday..

Was that forgetful until i realise tomorrow is Valentine's day..

Everyone ask me where are you..

Tomorrow go where celebrate..

Do what?

When want to get married?

I don't know how to answer :(

I msg you..

You didn't reply...

Maybe too busy..

Too tired..

Don't know..

What should i do tomorrow?

Suppose want to go your place..
But sis not free..

Will see how and arrange...

I really don't know what to do..

Everyone keep say same thing..

Let go...

Don't cry over a person that not worth you crying for..

Aren't you worth it??

Happy Valentine's Day...

I will always love you..

Japan Day#1

2012-02-12T23:25:00.002+08:00

Does this all really works?

Today you reply my msg early morning before and after you reach japan..

I very happy...

See you reach your destination safe and sound..

I sleep whole afternoon..

Trying to recover from the lack of sleep..

But.. I keep dreaming..

Everything is about you..

I can't differentiate which is reality and which is not...

I really want sot d..

I saw your pictures..

Showing sad sun, lonely fan, last trainmen..

What does all this mean?

Sad or happy?

I want to see your picture..

See you...

I can't help it but stay here...

You are at the place that we plan to go together..

So you need to enjoy for me also k..

I miss you ...

Phone call..

2012-02-12T00:05:00.002+08:00

I take out my handphone..

Want to call you once i reach room..

Then you call..

I very happy :)

But your tone..

Got abit weird weird..

Abit like stranger..

Don't know want to say what..

Don't know what you want to tell me..

But i really glad that you call..

It has been awhile since you last call..

I have been thinking the whole day..

How to meet up with you before you go japan..

How to call you..

What to say...

Will surely miss you alot..

But i guess..

This is also a good time for me to start let go...

To do what i have been left out for this few months..

Take good care my dear..

連詩雅 - ''I'm still loving you'' (喜愛夜蒲電影主題曲)

2012-02-11T23:58:00.000+08:00

When I close my eyes I think of you
And the times we've had been through
Even though we're far apart right now

I remember back when you were here with me
How you've made my world complete
But now I'm left alone

We talked about love and hope
Wishing we could start a life our own
I wish that I could live without you

[Chorus]
Why did you tear my heart apart
You said you'd love me from the start
All those painful things you've put me through
But I'm still loving you
I've tried to give my best to you
I don't deserve the things you do
Everything has gone to memories
I just wish I knew the truth behind the lies

Repeat Chorus

Words from the bottom of my heart..

2012-02-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

I really few this is so true.

By how i see how much time i spend for you..

And how much time you spend for me.

Already very clear...

How much I really mean to you..

I don't know whether you is purposely..

Or you really already let you...

I really don't understand...

I talk to Stefan today..

he told me alot logic..

Alot life stories...

To make me move forward..

He told me..

A happy me in half year or 1 year time..

Look back to the point of me now...

Will think i very stupid..

To waste time..

To waste tears..

And tears is for others..

Not for own sadness...

I know i can do better if i want to..

But i want you to come along...

If i can't bring you along..

What i can do?.

To continue on without you...

I know it will not be easy..

But i really need to do so...

Leaving in so much pain..

Making others worried bout me..

I feel tired too..

I will continue love you...

I will..

I promise..

I will take care of myself..

Like what you ask me to..

I will try to not sad..

I will move on...

Take care my dear...

The Eagles- Heart of the matter (lyrics)

2012-02-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

Limits..

2012-02-10T01:04:00.002+08:00

Today we discuss about why i sad..

Mum ask several people to talk to me..

I wrote a message to mum...

Asking her not to worried bout me..

Telling her the truth what is happening..

Don't want her to ask here and there anymore..

I also discuss this with you..

And we discuss about ken..

How i only treat him as a good friends..

And where you set limit for opposite sex friends and where is my limit..

I then see where your point coming from..

We are really different people..

From different perspective..

Yet... I still love you :)

See you work so hard this few days...

Quite sad..see you so sanfu..

Work till midnite..

Reach home still need continue do...

And i can't do anything to help..

Coz you rushing all this work to go japan..

A place that you say you want to bring me go..

But now you going with your friends..

I wanted to book ticket and fly with you together..

But i scare my visa wont approve..

I don't have so much money in account..

And i not working..

Later japan people thought i go jump plane..

Wanted to give you surprise..

But i totally don't know your plans..

Where you stay and all..

What i can do?

Stay at home and wait you come back..

What should i do??

Lunch? Coffee Break??

2012-02-09T03:19:00.000+08:00

I waited for you whole afternoon..

I think of all the ways..

For you to come down..

For lunch...that you can't make it..

I still can turn back..

but i didn't...

I continue to come..

See you..at least a glimpse i also happy...

I reach there..

Walk walk..

Don't know how..

Think think..

Msg you..

You already back work..

And so busy..

Ask you come down for coffee break..
But you say you just make coffee..

Really sad that time...

Suddenly see tou you i very happy o...

Really glad that you come down and see me..

Somemore twice... :)

Somemore want cheng me drink caramel..

Thank you for sharing time with me even when you are so busy..

Sorry o..

You need work till so late..

4am like that o...

I really hope that we can do something about this...

No turning back..

2012-02-07T22:41:00.002+08:00

Really no way to turn back d ma?

How come even your sister also say i make the right choice?

I really don't know what i should do?

I don't want to let go...

But you don't seems to care...

6 years..

Is it that easy to let go?

I really don't understand...

I know you not good..

Yet i still want to stay..

Why i so stupid???

I think this is why people say..

Love is blind...

Boyfriend?

2012-02-07T00:23:00.000+08:00

Do you have a boyfriend?

Where is your boyfriend?

How are you and Kenneth?

When you getting Married?

Don't know why today they keep asking me this question...

I don't know how to answer :(

Can you teach me how?

I ask you..

You didn't answer me..

What you expect me to answer..

Can you tell me?

At least..

What you are thinking..

You left me guessing..

Really very tired... :(

:)

2012-02-05T02:18:00.001+08:00

Dear i miss you. :)

Today u ask me play tetris..

Happy..

Haha..

Sot d..

Simply things also happy..

Good night..

Yesterday edit picture until 5am so sleepy now..

The message

2012-02-03T01:02:00.001+08:00

Will this be what you trying to say?

i really hope not.. :(

I resigned yesterday and today is my last day..

2012-02-03T00:43:00.003+08:00

One day notice?

I not sure whether she will pay my full pay or not..

I don't know i should sad or happy..

I want to talk to you..

But you always busy..

You say you got things to do..

But you post in facebook "combo king"

You playing tetris..

Is it talk to me also so difficult?

Today i talk to boss..

I really say everything out..

I wonder what boss will think of me after this..

I really don't know what i should do already..

I can't let go...

I can't continue..

Seeing you keep continue with your life..

Really don't know what i should feel... :(

Just be friends

2012-02-02T00:20:00.002+08:00

Words that i couldn't get it off my mind..

Why must i say out those words?

Why i don't take it back?

I don't understand why...

You can just leave me like that..

Don't care my msg and calls...

I just want to talk to you...

Hear you voice..

See what you are doing... :(

I'm really depressed..

I resigned as you wanted it...

But you are no longer here to accompany me through these...

I wonder

2012-02-01T01:39:00.001+08:00

When i only can let go like you?

I wonder...

How come I cannot be stronger..

Keep thinking about the past..

Keep waiting for you to return to me..

I know the things will continue to repeat again..

yet i still want to be together with you again...

I already don't care face..

ask you..

Yet..

Still like this want result...

You going japan soon........

Going further away from me..

Huhu...

Please come back...

I really miss you...

Tetris Fever..

2012-01-31T02:26:00.002+08:00

I just need you by my side accompany me..

Then i'm satisfy...

Just now you stay up late play card and tetris..

i call you also didn't answer...

Don't know it's purposely dowan answer or really busy cannot answer..

Hmm...

I hope is the second one..

Maybe playing tetris..

Or didn't hear you...

You play awhile..

then i ask u sleep...

You say ok..

Then suddenly you invite me again...

Why suddenly come back again?

Win me to many times ma?

Hehe..

Want make you same level with me..

Almost d...

Ken didn't msg or reply to my post le..

Maybe he really hear tou what i said to you while talking on the phone with him...

So he also angry le..

Is it i want to get back with you..

Then will make every other person angry?

Really...If need to make everyone happy...

I will be the most lonely person... :(

Even know everyone angry at me...

You also angry at me..

Leaving me alone...

Reasons for me not to find you...

2012-01-30T01:00:00.002+08:00

I don't know whether i upload this before or not..

I today whole day didn't msg you..

End up..

You also didn't msg me..

You really don't care anymore??

When i msg u, u ask me don't come meet you for lunch tomorrow because you will be busy..

You won't have time, scare no parking, scare rushing... etc...

Is it just scare to meet me?

Sorry..

I know i fan..

I just want to meet you..

Last time you say i didn't go find you..

Now i purposely take leave..

You don't let me go find you..

2012-01-28T23:25:00.002+08:00

Yesterday night i message you until today night 9 plus only you reply me..

you really don't care anymore ma?

I called you..

you didn't answer..

Later, you reply in message ask why..

Is it friends then don't have to return call already?

I'm sorry..

Maybe i'm expecting too much..

Still thinking that you will try to do things for me..

To make me happy...

Maybe...

But...

Probably...

All this will not happen anymore...

I feel you are stranger to me when you are away..

When we are together..

At least once in awhile..

Maybe you forgot..

You will call me dear...

Dear...

I'm sorry...

I really know my mistake...

Can we try again?

Sometimes I feel..you don't care anymore.. :(

2012-01-27T02:24:00.001+08:00

Lunch :)

2012-01-26T20:30:00.002+08:00

1st time drive to meet you for lunch..

Don't know you will happy or feel i very fan..

Disturb you..

But i very happy..

Get to meet you :)

Although need drive...

Scare..

See road..

Here and there also car..

Hehe..

Eat at Bangsar Shopping Village i think...

Not sure which one is the correct name but the one up the hill..

Last time we use to walk up the hill from HELP

Still remember ma?

You bring me eat food court..

LOL..

It's ok la..

Get to meet you..
Eat lunch..

Already very happy..

Glad that you like the present that I got for you..

Today hear you call me dear again..:)

Although it might be you guan already...

Still Happy...

Hehe..

Thanks for the day..

Movie day out : Viral Factor

2012-01-25T14:52:00.002+08:00

Thank you for spending time with me.

Really appreciate it..

Happy o..

Hehe..

Always wanted to hug you and hold your hands..

But i don't dare...

Scare next time you don't dare watch movie with me already..

Hehe..

Movie don't know nice or not..

I too busy closing eyes..

When they shoot at each other...

And also peeking at you.. LOL..

So long time didn't meet you..

See tou you very happy..

Get to update on what you have been doing and stuff..

Mum said that kaycie know you came..

she bark to come out from the cage..

Then run and meet you...

When i come back, she just stay in cage..

Didn't come out..

Really seems like she also sad sad like me...

Hope that this weekend can bring her go gai gai lo.. :)

Love you..

Hope you like your present...

Movie

2012-01-24T10:19:00.002+08:00

After 1 month, i finally get to meet you...

and what you told me is that you will come and visit for CNY and not for movie??

But, we initially plan for a movie...

Why do you need to rush home?

You said that you want to go back at 2pm..

You don't want to spend whole day...

Is it very difficult to spend time with me?

We haven't meet for so long..

Happy Birthday Dear !!

2012-01-23T03:34:00.000+08:00

Went to your house..

To surprise you after praying..

But you not well..

Very early sleep already..

Call and message also no reply..

So i don't dare keep call..

Waited and waited..

While writing my letter...

Everytime my birthday..

I will wish that you will come overnite..

And surprise me...

but that never happen..

At least during the day still got..

Haha....

Because you not free during the day..

I also need go Genting Highlands..

so this year birthday..

Can't celebrate with you.

Sorry o dear..

I wanted to leave the present outside your house..

But scare raining..

Scare will give people take go..

So i didn't..

You will receive this present late o..

Coz i only can meet you on 3rd day..

Tomorrow need go Aunty pearly house..

You also busy...

Don't know happy or sad..

Last time i always say you didn't spend time with your friends except magic..

Now you keep spend time with time..

I got abit jealous..

Because...I already..

Very long time didn't meet you... :(

I miss you...
Better get some sleep now..

TIME and FEELINGS..

2012-01-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

Today you go shopping with who a?

You say alone..

Sorry..

But i feel you with someone else..

Not sure whether my six sense correct or not...

But usually you don't go shopping alone..

And you don't let me follow you..

is it you really hate me??

I don't know..

I really feel the pain..

When you watch movie,

I called you..

You ask me to talk next time..

coz you want to watch movie??

What do you think i am?

I know i hurt you..

Do I have to go through this kind of treatment?

When you are bored, nothing do..

Then you will look for me..

Call me and talk...

When you are busy..

Accompanied with friends and work..

Then you not free to care me?

I'm sorry for hurting you in the past..

But you are really hurting me this few weeks...

I everyday hold jue the hp..

wait you msg..wait you call..

When in MSN, you say hi..

I will be super happy..

Faster reply..

But need to wait super long for you to reply me..

I read on articles..

How to win you back..

Most of it...

Says...to let you go...

If you really love me, you will come back..

But i already let you go very far away..

I scare you lost your way..

Back here...

I don't want to be left alone... :(

Mum ask me..

Why i always look so sad and tired..

Like no mood...

MUM, in fact..

I really no mood..

I just don't want to stay at one place...

One people..

Keep think things..

I need people to accompany me..

To bring me through

Please... HELP ME!!

Dear... :(

S.H.E 最近還好嗎 zui jin hai hao ma MV

2012-01-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

How are you?

Should be better than me..

Can eat and sleep well..

Today just decide to watch also can't decide properly..

Even ask to talk on phone also you don't want...

Can i know what you want actually?

Are you seeing someone else already?

Just a thought...

Why you treating me so cool...

HELP...i need HELP!!

2012-01-18T22:09:00.001+08:00

How come i always see things that make myself sad???????????????????????????

I really don't want to do it this way..

Can someone please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bullied

2012-01-17T23:18:00.002+08:00

Today i being bullied..

First person i look for is you..

Thank you for replying to my msg...

Really appreciate it..

Feel so sad at the moment..

Maybe i stupid..

I go and answer her back...

In a way, i think i'm very brave..

A pat on the shoulder..

In another way, i think i'm stupid..

End up with more scoldings...

Maybe i already want to cry..

Add on with that, make me cry..

Haiz..

When will she bank in??

I want to give her my letter also..

Although i don't know where i should go..

Where i should work?

Because..

I lost the sense of time...in this world.. :(

My brother is such a nice boyfriend..

2012-01-16T23:08:00.000+08:00

He ask me and wen to help him clean up lai kuan house..

To surprise her when she come back...

Once reach the house, it's like being robbed...

So messy..everything is on the floor..

Shoes..Food...Rubbish....

After clean up...

So much better...

So nice..

So clean..

Just a few hours thing..

Can help to make someone happy...

Something very worth it..

Went swimming also before that..

When i lay relax facing up to the sky...

All i think is you..

What you are doing..

Where are you..

How are you..

In the peaceful...

No other sound world..

I still think of you...

I really hope that we still can make it...

Can we?

Hug Hug..

2012-01-15T23:07:00.000+08:00

I miss your hug so much...

My aunt ask me i how...

Hug me...

Say that she will always be my kuku...

I straight cry already...

Seems like i'm really hurt now...

Aiks..

How to stop this?

Today went shopping alone...

Just to make sure that i not at home simply think things..

End up also the same..

Went to KLCC with kor...

Sit the same car as your car..

Went to the same place like with you previously...

Still remember we do the survey in the park...

Walk around the park so tired..

Give the guard chase around...

Miss those moments..

Went to Toy R Us...

Saw the lego and remember how we use to press press and guess which is which figure...

Went to Charlie Brown Cafe...

Remember the moment we at Penang...

taking pictures all around...

This outlet food not bad...Just portion quite small...

Outlet size also small compare to Penang outlet..

Now i know..

How walking alone so not nice..

No ppl to give opinion..

No ppl to talk to...

No ppl to joke with...

No ppl to play around...

Thanks for being here all this while...

Naive..

2012-01-14T17:29:00.002+08:00

Why i always so naive that you will still come back to me?

Why i keep waiting for a chance to talk to you?

Why i think that you will remember that i want to talk to you?

Even when i ask you so..

You say that you not free now..

After hours...

Yet no news from you..

When you feel that you need me then you come to me..

When you feel lonely..

You will want to talk to me..

When you have your friends around?

You don't need me?

I think i post about this before..

Yet i still feel the same today..

I felt being abandon..

maybe this is what you felt previously..

But i didn't keep you waiting...

Can you help me out?

I really don't like myself being like this..

Because of one..tree..

I can leave the whole jungle...

I just need one people that really really care for me..

Know what i want..

Guide me through this life that i don't know how to deal with...

She keep say that i know i don't like you..

I know it's a habit to have you...

But i don't...

i don't know why..

I just want you here...

To see you safe and happy...

Is all I need now...

Now i know

2012-01-14T02:44:00.003+08:00

Now i know

How much i care for you..

How much i worried bout you..

How much i want to know about your news..

How much i want to hear your voice...

How much i want to know where are you

Just by a simple message from your friend..

I felt so much more calm...

I felt so much better...

Even my tears roll down my check unconsciously...

I was afraid that something bad might happen to you...

I never been this worried for a very long time already...

I'm sorry..

Thank you for replying to my message when i finally know where are you...

Although it didn't sound very nice...

At least you reply...

At least i heard from your side..

Now i know

How much i want you by my side..

How much i want to hug you now...

Telling you how much i miss you...

I'm sorry for everything..

I just need to know about you...

張學友 - 我真的受傷了 .:. Jacky Cheung - Wo Zhen De Shou Shang Le

2012-01-14T00:35:00.000+08:00

Pin-Yin / English Translation

Chuang wai yin tian le　yin yue di sheng le
Outside the window it's cloudy, the music is hushed
Wo de xin kai shi xiang ni le
My heart begins to think of you

Deng guang ye an le　yin yue di sheng le
The lighting is lowered too, the music is hushed
Kou zhong de mian hua tang ye yong hua le
The cotton candy in my mouth has melted too

Chuang wai yin tian le　ren shi wu liao le
Outside the window it's cloudy, I am bored
Wo de xin kai shi xiang ni le
My heart begins to think of you

Dian hua xiang qi lai　ni yao shuo hua le
The phone rings, you want to speak
Hai yi wei ni xin li dui wo you xiang nian le
And I had thought that your heart was missing me again
Zen me ni sheng yin bian de leng dan le
How is it your voice has become indifferent
Shi ni bian le　shi ni bian le
You have changed, you have changed

Deng guang shi mie le　yin yue jing zhi le
The light has gone out, the music has been stilled
Di xia de yan lei yi ting bu zhu le
The dropping tear cannot be held back either

Tian xia qi yu le　ren shi bu kuai le
The skies begin to rain, I am unhappy
Wo de xin zhen de shou shang le
My heart has really been hurt

Heard this song in the radio..

Every single word in this song really portrays what i feel and think...

I'm sorry...

I'm really hurt...

I miss you...

Oh no...she starts to realise..

2012-01-13T01:15:00.002+08:00

Maybe you will think of another thing..

But..

What i am referring to is chong..

So no worries..

I cry cry...

Almost every night...

Chong ask why eyeswollen...

First first she ask i is drink alot water...

Today she ask me..

I is it cry?

How to make sure that other ppl don't know i cry?

To not cry?

But..

Everytime i close eyes then i will start thinking..

Start visualizing what have been happening this few months...

I'm sorry...

Is really hard for me to let go...

Time to be happy

2012-01-11T22:18:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry..

But i still want to know what you are doing..

So i tried going into ur email again...

But you changed it already...

Does that mean that really reach the end already?

I not happy but i can't do anything...

I decided to find my cheerful self again...

Maybe with mask...

maybe without mask..

I already tried..

Now time will do the magic..

And see what magic will he give me..

Or us..

Thank you for this six years..

I really had alot first time together with you..

I really appreciate the effort.. the sacrifice you did...

For all the tears, laughter, sweat and magic you offered..

I love you, my dear

周杰倫 Jay Chou-好久不見 MV(完整版)

2012-01-11T00:41:00.000+08:00

I don't dare

2012-01-11T00:11:00.002+08:00

I wanted to hug you...

But I don't dare..

I'm afraid that you will push me away..

I wanted to look at you straight in the eyes..

But i don't dare..

I'm afraid that i will start crying...

I wanted to tell you how much i care...

But i don't dare..

I'm afraid that you tell me other ways..

I wanted to tell you how much i worried..

But i don't dare..

I'm afraid that you wouldn't reply...

I wanted to look back at you..

But i don't dare..

I'm afraid to see you walk away from me...

I wanted to stay with you longer

But i don't dare..

I'm afraid that i will not let you go..

But i'm happy that you make it today..

I cried..Again..

I'm sorry...

I don't want to give up..

Please don't give up yet..

78 months.....

2012-01-10T00:00:00.000+08:00

76 months of holding hands...

2 months of tears and separation...

that includes..

1 month of phone calls...

2 weeks of thinking...

1 week of messages...

and now?

Can i make the number increase?

Happy 6 1/2 Anniversary !

I will continue counting...until the day comes...

Will my banana still do the same?

But I know this one is smiling at you..

Hope you are smiling too :)

Jay Chou - Secret Signal (An Hao) Sub'd

2012-01-09T23:34:00.001+08:00

Maybe really because alot people interfere us...

Makes me think too much...

Makes me make this decision...

that might not suit us...

I'm sorry...

I really have alot people beside me that thinks we are not suitable for each other...

How they complain you not good..

I still decide to stay..

Until that day...

I don't know why...

Really say it out...

Sorry....

Don't know whether you will still like the song..

Care for me no matter what happens...

Tomorrow is 2months since i ended it...

And also is our 6 1/2 years anniversary since we started it..

You still remember ma?

If you still, I will be very happy...

Thinking to ask you for a dinner tomorrow...

But don't know whether you will like it...

I don't know what are you thinking...

I don't know what you are planning...

I still need some guidelines...

If you still need me to be in your life...

I'm sorry that i was lead away...

I'm sorry that i was not strong enough..

I'm sorry that i worried too much...

I'm sorry that i care too much...

Hope that you are happy :)

Wonder...

2012-01-08T19:28:00.003+08:00

I wonder whether you read this blog...

I really don't know what to do..

I know i say i won't ask you anymore..

But i really can't stand it..

How?

Everytime

i pass by certain place..

i use certain things..

i look at my phone..

i wear my clothes..

i come into my room...

i also will think tou..

I always want to keep them..

But where to keep and what to keep?

Everything is related to you....

Either the place that we always go..

Things that we always do and eat...

Clothes that you like..

Our anniversary clothes...

Our picture...Our photo album...

My memory...

How to hide all this thing away and continue working like you do?

Can you teach me how?

How come you can?

You say you did not let go?

But...

Why like this?

I really really sorry...

Yesterday I didn't go out coz i not happy...

I message you..

Very happy you very fast reply already...

After mum they all left..

You also didn't reply already...

I waited waited...

Cry cry then sleep already..

Morning wake up..

see tou you got reply me..

Although sad so long only reply...

Still happy that you reach home safely...

and message me..

Thank you...

Having your message make me feel calm...

Don't know you will feel like this ornot...

Maybe...

I already use to message you...

Stopping myself from calling and messaging really painful...

Sorry that i made you feel this way previously..

I must be hurt you really badly that you can build this wall between us...

I'm sorry...

I also know how you feel when attend ppl wedding..

Coz i went twice already...without you...

Seeing their wedding picture really heartaching..

They went and take picture at places that they always go..

And this few places...also is the place we always go..

If we really have chance to take these pictures..

Can we do the same too?

I really hope that we can start a new one...

Maybe telling each other what's our expectation..

At least this way, we don't have to guess what each thinking..

But don't know whether still have this chance or not..

I will be here waiting...

Really here for you...

Not " I always here for you" like you said...

But...

Hope you are happy doing what you want best......

Married?

2012-01-06T23:40:00.003+08:00

1st thing in the morning..

Chong ask..

"you drink alot water before sleep?"

Ah...coz my eye zhong a?

*not drink alot water...is shed too much tears*

2nd question...

When are you getting married?

In a day..

Few people ask me this question...

Last time i know what i will answer them..

But now?

What should i answer?

Everytime go out meeting with chong..

She sure will ask about you...

Ask me i how...

You treat me good or not...

One important thing she day today is...

At this stage, is all about trust...

Yes..

Trust...

I trust you..

No matter what is your decision...

I will respect it...

3rd question...

"why you look so blur blur today?"

I don't know...

Not enough sleep + cannot sleep + Not feeling well + Heart aching + etc...

*coz i get an answer that i don't want and i can't change it..better to be blur blur *

Hope that everything went on well for you :)

杨丞琳 - 仰望

2012-01-06T23:40:00.000+08:00

STOP!!!!!

2012-01-06T02:22:00.003+08:00

Seriously..

I can't sleep...

I decided to put a stop...

On whatever i have been trying to do...

To maybe make you look back...

But your focus now is only on money...

To earn more money...

I don't know...

I starting to give up...

To think that this world is not suitable for me...

I don't know what to do...

I don't know what can be done...

I don't have purpose in life..

I don't have real circle of friends...

I don't have a career...just plain job....

Is is better that way?

then I don't have to think..

Then i will be free...

Only woried...

My family...and Kaycie....

Who will take care of them...

But what i can do?

no one knows how hard i cry...

no one knows what is happening inside me..

no one knows this secret which is hiding in me...

Since this is what you want, i can't say no...

Even i say no, you still won't come back...

I just need to stop crying...

STOP!!!! STOP!!!! STOP!!!!

Sick please go away..

2012-01-05T21:44:00.004+08:00

No one care...

Not feeling well...

When in aircon room...

Very hot..

When downstairs..

Very cold...

But temperature normal...

Can't see doctor...

Whats wrong with me??

I don't want to fall sick..

I don't want to stay at home..

I don't want to lie on bed whole day...

I don't want to think things...

Davichi & T-ara- We Were In Love [ENG/ROM/HAN] Lyrics

2012-01-04T21:50:00.000+08:00

Nice one...

Just something that reflects what i'm thinking...

Today sky also got alot stars...

Blink blink blink...

So pretty...

Wonder when can we see stars together...

You are the brightest star...Remember??

2012-01-04T00:06:00.002+08:00

I look up to the sky..

So many stars...

Did you miss me??

I miss you..

Miss the moment you told me that what each star represent..

And how much we meant for each other...

I guess...

That's something to think about now...

Meet someone just now..

And he asked...

Do you have boyfriend?

Usually this question..

I answer very fast...

But today..

I hesitate..

Whether to nod my head or not?

Dad was there....

And i answered yes...

Do I still?

I also want to know...

Picture with bear

2012-01-02T23:44:00.002+08:00

Usually got all this event,

I also will ask you bring me go take picture..

Christmas, New year...

You will bring me go around KL, genting...

Take nice nice picture..

This time i went myself..

United Buddy Bears

Bear bear travel around the world for 2002 till now..

Finally reach malaysia....

You know la..

I so like bear bear..

Suddenly got people say want fetch me go there..

Always wanted to ask you go..

But don't dare...

Like when you say go movie..

Everytime you have something in between then will forget d...

Or you may say that we didn't really make the promise..

Sorry..

Coz last time say already tomorrow go where..

Then sure will go..

Not say already then didn't go..

At least we will go out first..

Then if lastly change we also will go out...

Guan already...

Coz i really want you to go...

Tried to ask you..

But you not free...

Really miss those times..

where we spend together..

I know you don't like to take picture..

But i want to take with you a..

Especially take you alone want picture..

Or disturb you want picture...

So that now...

I still have many many pictures with me..

Can see through...

But, you alone want picture..

I don't really have...

Coz you will angry...or sad sad...

When i want take your picture..

Curi curi take..you also will know...

I like see you have different expression..

So, don't want always face down down k..

I know, towards others you have different faces...

Towards me, also different..

Just want to see you smile happily... :)

Miss you...

2012.1.1

2012-01-02T01:07:00.002+08:00

Say goodbye to 2011 is kinda tough..

Although is a tough and challenging year,

I learned the most...

In work, in family, in you...

In work,

i learned to be patient, to accept what it takes...

to work on what is there for me..

and still never learn to say no..

In family,

i learned the importance of them...

especially mummy..

was really afraid that she will leave me the other day...

need to spend more time..

and don't always fight back...

In you,

I made mistakes..

And i learned to accept it

As you said, you won't turn back..

I guess that is what i should do now..

To respect what you decide..

I learned that no point for me to continue asking

I need to learn to let go...

Back to square one..

This will be very difficult...

I don't know whether i can make it or not..

Let's just see what will happen...

I'm sorry...2012...

I started it badly..

I don't hope that it will continue throughout like this..

I don't want to be sad..

Someone...please bring me out from this place...

Please....

Thanks for Everything...

2012-01-01T16:55:00.000+08:00

I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2012-01-01T13:16:00.003+08:00

you don't want to look back?

Fine. Then don't.

Don't ask me to go out here and there.

Because that makes me look back.

If you don't want, then don't lead someone there.

You say i childish?

Maybe. because i only keep think how to make it right..

How to make you not sad anymore...

I know i stupid..

I thought this way you will be more mature...

Know where is the problem...

But until now you still don't know what is it and where is it...

Care and love is 2 different thing...

If you really still love me, wouldn't it be a good thing that i want us to be together again?

But you say it's not fair to you..

Not fair to you in what sense?

Coz You need to suffer the 1 month time?

You think i didn't?

You think you alone not happy?

Like i said, you have your friends, your game, and career...

What i have?? i didn't even tell anyone about it...

Because I still giving you chance...

I still want to see what is there to do...

But you already accepted is a final...

If you really want to have a happy ending, why you still want to do this??

you don't understand, i also don't understand..

Sorry for yelling at you..

But i really can't stand anymore...

i already put down..

Talk to you..

Ask you about it...

And this is what you return me...

I'm sorry...

But I really sad...

I really feel i very stupid..

very childish...

for asking you again...

making myself sad and miserable...

Even in dream, also keep thinking of this...

Really very tired...

Cry cry cry...

For What???

I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Appreciate..

2011-12-31T03:53:00.003+08:00

I'm thinking what you are what you are thinking of..

Sometimes you are worried...sometimes you seems to forget..

I not sure what you want and what to do with you..

Can you please tell me?

I'm worried...

I want to know your whereabouts...

But..you seems don't really care....

When i post i'm jealous of yeepeng's husband..

I'm really jealous...

Everytime i OT with Yee Peng, he sure will come and accompany Yee Peng..

Bring food for her...

Today..She ask for chocolate..

And he really come with chocolate...

He even help Yee Peng to do work and accompany her...

Makes me think...

What you really think of me?

What we are now?

Will you really appreciate what you have now?

Will you know what I want?

Will you care like that for me?

I'm sorry..

But i really need to make this clear...

Today is already the last day of 2011...

I want to make this right..

To know what you are thinking..

And what to do with next year..

I don't want to keep this hanging anymore...

I'm sorry that I can't give you more time..

This time are taking too much time...

I keep thinking about it...

At least if you want to let go..

I know how to do...

or at least if you want to get back together..

I know what to do...

Please...

And do appreciate the person that you want to stay with now...

NO matter who the person are...

I will be happy for you...

And thanks for being there for me throughout these years...

What we have gone through together..

2011-12-29T23:15:00.004+08:00

I always dream of this type of life...

What we always see in tv...

Fairytale story...

only that we didn't know each other when we are kids...

We started off very early...

Back in college...

We spend most of the times together..

For Break time...

We play the piano, sleep in dsa, do assignment in labs, play games etc...

I remember i thought you how to play a song that i don't know how to play...

We also like to spend time at Midvalley..

Just a few hours break..we can drop by there for a movie..

That makes my album full... :)

For assignment..

We are always in the same group...except for those that we cannot chose..

You will always take time to do the assignment..

While i wait for last minute..

You will accompany me do till midnight..

Even my thesis...

I do do do...till last minute..

I not sure where are you...

But i remember i sit alone at level 9..

I think its' exam time...

For experiment...

We think of all sorts of experiment at first..
But we ran out of idea very quickly...

Remember the one that we do in the small room..

So hot that we need to take fan...

So cold that one of our participants left...

Make it a variable that probably affect our result..

For outdoor assignments...

We do charity work..

We went to orphanages...spca...play with the kids and doggies...

We do marketing project..

We sell snacks in the class, herbal eggs, hotdogs..

Still remember Kahshuen say "Fresh hotdogs"

We also did some outdoor activities..etc...

For classes..

We took all the same classes..throughout the 4 years..

Even when you initially plan to take computer games and design...

You ended up with Psychology...

Maybe this is something you miss you...

What you really like...

Some classes are really fun...like marketing class... we get to play with advertisements..

Some class is really strict.. like Ms Winnie's Class... "Question 1"

Some classes are really boring.. like the business management class..i forgot her name...and i sleep in her class...which is really bad..

You taught me to skip classes back in Foundation..haha...

For Food...

We always go for Ali Maju,Lan Maju...

And also Siber...or the mix rice aunty..

Yum Yum...

Miss those food...

But for you now, should be abit sick of those food?

After 4yrs...u still need eat that food..haha..

For clubs and societies...

We join the same club...

Arcades, Rotary... i can't remember others...

Only that you join Chess..i can't...

That's where i learn how to play chess...

Starting to get to know what is what...

You give up..and take up Magic again...

A game that make us travel here and there..

Subang, Central, Midvalley, EM, Ipoh, Singapore...

Everytime you join activities..

I will surely support you...

Maybe that's what my family always did to me..

Always support me..no matter where am i..

Also, we even founded our own club..Mindgames...

Travel to seapark to buy our games...

And now the games belongs to us...

Remember what kenneth phun say...

"There is a club like this previous..The games left together with the president"

Haha...Same goes with this president...

Then, we graduated..

Wear on our robes and mortar hat...

Took pictures and had dinner...

Head of to the working society...

Even in work..

We went to the same company for internship...

Mr Jim was kind enough to accept both of us..

Not sure whether he really need people or maybe we are just plain lucky..

We ended up working together...

Initially afraid of people knowing we are couple..

But somehow they knew it... :p

Working with Michael, Andy, Bruce, Gerald, Mandy and Siew Mei..

It's quite fun though...

Then, our last week of internship, they send us out for lunch everyday at different location nando's..

Under the sun and rain..stand on top of the bustop bench and all...haha...

Then, we came back for 3months or so..

When only finish exam few days...

We started working...with the term that he allow a 2 weeks off after that...

He again hired both of us...

In a week, we catch up a whole lot of things...

In a month, we both handle own project...

As times goes by, we ended up working later and later...

Still remember i ask Mr Jim when interview...Is the working time still the same?

He say " Yes yes..9-6...now better...we go back earlier...." Haha..

But before 6pm is working time...after 6pm is learning time...

But we also lucky, get to sit opposite each other...

Work in the same team...

Still remember how evelyn say us when we disagree on things?

She say "Aiyo, go home only argue..don't argue here..like husband and wife only"

Then, you have to follow boss out for Ambank...I follow Evelyn...

Not a bad experience...haha...

We also went holidays...

TO so many places... Ipoh, Pangkor, Melaka, Kuantan, Penang, Kedah..

Especially Genting Highlands...

seems to be our favourite spot...

You also brought me to the place where the animals i want to see to most stay...

Australia...Kuala Bear...and Kangaroos...

Thank you...Really really happy :)

Then,we went Singapore...

1st time...leaving our parents..leaving the country alone...

All by ourselves..

Remember that yesterday you tell me that i went with my cousin alone?

Actually I went with you to most places alone...

Just that you didn't realise it...

For monthsary..

We will wear the same tshirt...

Especially the blue one...

Remember once we go all the way up to Genting just to get a couple tshirt..Ali Shirt..

We will eat together and spend time to watch movie..

or do something together...

We promise, no matter how busy..

We also need to spare time out...

Even after we start work...

But...we didn't make it...

We postponed it to weekends...

Sometimes i waited..

For miracle to happen...

For you to show out somehow...

Even when i want to go to bed..

I also will keep hoping...

But I know it's difficult..

You have work...

And you are tired too...

We went on separate ways...

To our own working enviroment...

To place where we only have strangers...

We start all over again...

Working from scratch...

While you are working your way up...

I seems to lost mine...

I lost the track of place and time...

Don't know what I should do...

In between times,

I lost alot of friends..

I spend alot of time and effort..

But i gain you...

Your time and effort...

You have your friends, your game and your career..

Can we still finish the journey?

I'm not sure...

Without your trust, without my confidence...

It's quite difficult..

I know.......

Now...only can see...

What time can do for us...

Things that are not said...

2011-12-28T22:43:00.003+08:00

Found this on one of my friend's wyall...

Sometimes yousay that girls ask for so many thing..

They want this..they want that...

When she ask for A, B and then C...

You start to give A...She already waiting for C...

But when ask why she want C...

She don't know...

Maybe because waited for A and B too long..

Now at the moment...she want C...

But when you give her C, she already thinking of something else...

Girls thinks alot...that's why they change very fast..

But for sure not their heart...

For lots of thing...

they will never ask...

Just like when they keep quiet...

They are thinking...

How to say..to make you know what they want..

But not telling you what is it...

to make her happy when you know what is it...

Why don't make it easier?

Tell it out?

Coz...girls are like this..

They want to know how much you know about her..

And how much you really care..

Just like my colleague husband come over to work place...

scare its too late...it's dangerous...

scare she hungry....he brought snacks...

scare she alone....accompany her...

scare she tired...ask her to go home...

I always wanted you to do this..

To come visit me...

To accompany me...

But i never really request for it...

Because I know...

You are tired...

You also need to work...

But still...i will wish for it...

And continue silent...

To see

How much you know about me..

How much you understand..

How much you care...

How much you willing to put in effort and time...

On the other hand...

I will also try..

Just to see you smile sincerely...

Something to ponder on...

2011-12-27T00:19:00.000+08:00

Shakespeare

- I did not play with your feelings...but i seems to have lost you half way...

I admit that i did not solve the problem well...i'm sorry for that...

Napoleon

-Hmm...who is bad and who is good now? Maybe i'm playing the bad side...

Now...you are silence....Make me scare..don't know what i should do...

When you keep responding to me...i still feel better...

When you stop messaging and calls...i'm afraid... :(

Einstein

-Yes..i have seen your achievement without me...in your career...in magic...

Maybe...this is what my decision benefits you...Maybe without me..

everything will be working better for you....

Leaving me behind...stopping at the same spot...

I wonder...What will happen to me...

Abraham Lincoln

-I'm weak in this...but I'm not strong either...

Not at any end...who am I?

I also don't know...

Maybe all this while..i'm too depending on you...

I lost the sense of direction...the sense of life...

Martin Luther King

- :) Living together is not one easy task...

It really needs patient, understanding, honesty, and other elements to live together..

Not just you like me and I like you then we can stay together happily ever after...

I know we are opposite of each other...this makes it even more difficult for us to communicate...

even on simple things....Which makes it also the biggest problem that I can't solve until now...

Can you teach me what i should do?

Mahatma Gandhi

-Forgiveness?? Don't know where i should start with...

I'm sorry for the things that i said that hurt you..

I'm sorry for the things that i did that hurt you..

I'm sorry that I decide to let go..

I'm sorry that I love you..

I'm sorry ...

Dr Abdul Kalaam

-Yes...this is very true...

It's very easy to make someone hurt...

Just say something or do something...

You can't take it anymore..

But...to win back somemone...

You need to do more than just say and do...

It takes time...effort....and sometimes it doesn't work too...

The wound will be there forever...

Hope that time can heal this wound...

And it's not too late....

Thanks for everything...

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T19:26:00.004+08:00

I thought you want to spend time with me.

So i keep ask mum and dad to send me home.

But i don't receive any confirmation from you until now and you told me that you will come at 9pm.

I know i cannot get angry, i know i cannot say anything.

But yet..i still want to tell you that i'm not happy.

I always want to spend christmas with my family as i always told you...

But this year...i want to spend with you...

They scold me i always want to stay at home and for you to come...

But....

I don't know what i should do...

I don't feel like going out anymore...

But i want to meet you...

Can you tell me what should i do?

You tell me that you don't know why I weird weird...

Because I'm crying here...

Waiting alone....

WHY??

2011-12-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

Why am i always so stupid to think that you will care and you will do what it takes to make our relationship better?

why do i always put high hope on you?

why when i give up you give me hope and i don't accept, you tend to give up?

why i always want to give you chance but you don't appreciate it?

why must i suffer like this?

why i don't give up?

why i need to face your attitude like this?

why do i listen to your calls and reply your messages?

why i want wait for things to change?

why i need you by my side?

why you always not there?

why you don't understand what i want?

why i think you will wait for me?

why you don't care?

why you can treat me like this?

Movie

2011-12-23T19:31:00.000+08:00

When you ask me movie, i thought we still can make a change...

Why I feel sad and happy at the same time?

I don't know what will happen....

I don't know how to react and respond to you...

I don't know whether is right for me to make this decision...

I don't know what to do...

I don't know....

I don't know...

I don't know..

I don't know.

Genting Highlands

2011-12-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

You ask what u doing on 26 n 27 dec ?

After 1 hour only you reply me...

and yet i still don't know you ask for what...

When you told me that you going genting highland on that day...

i finally know that..

you have make up your mind...

I still remember you said that you won't go there if i don't go...

because you don't want to...

That is the place where we spent most of our holidays together....

Just feeling not happy...I'll be fine...

The Truth..

2011-12-21T07:36:00.000+08:00

Today finally i told you what i feel...

and...what you told me is to calm down and stop crying...

That's not the answer that i want to hear...

not what i want to know...

You said that you are always here....

Where?

You said that you want me to be happy...

But i'm not happy...

You said that the biggest sacrifice you did for me is to respect my decision...

But you don't know what i really want...

You said that you are sad when i told you that I'm tired of making you happy..

But did you know how sad for me to say out those words?

You said that i always think what i think is correct...

But don't you know that you feel that way also..Everyone also will think that themselves is correct...

I don't know whether this is what i should tell you...

Or is it just when you are not here anymore i feel the pain....

wanted...

2011-12-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

Today i wanted to tell you....

but you not home yet...

I tried to msg you...

I tried to call you...

But you hang me up....

I not feeling well...

And i can't get you... :(

****************

*edited*

maybe because this is the day you went and watch movie with you know who...

and yet you say you did not...

I don't know whether did i make the right decision for telling you.....

Merry Christmas in advance!

2011-12-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today you came and exchange gift with me...

I wonder what does this mean?

The album brings back lots of memories...

Many pictures that i already hide far behind my brain...

What you really want me to do??

"Towards the Sunset, Thanks for being a part of my life"

Do you know what this means?

From my interpretation...

You already give up...you already make the decision that this is the end...

Why you don't understand that i always want you to make changes...

make hope..and see what we can do about this...but....i don't know..

maybe i hurt you too much that you think it's better this way...

continue with your life....and you don't need me to continue in your life...

Ifflynn...

2011-12-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

I wanted to prepare something special for you...

went and look for pictures..

What i get??

I saw the maple message from Ifflynn...

I couldn't help it...

I felt the pain that is hidden for these few years...

Did that really happen?

I really want to know.

Can you please tell me the truth?

I can't stand it anymore...

and i ask you again..

you answered

"no I din together with her. That's all I can tell u and no point I lie to u also now.

What you want to think it's up to u. I cannot help u on that. "

When i received this message, i really feel i really stupid..

What am i waiting for? what i want hear from you?

you already told me that no point to lie to me now...

means...you already don't care?

Why i always think that you will be honest with me...

Why i always believe you...

Why....

EDH Magic at KDU..

2011-12-17T23:03:00.001+08:00

Today you won for EDH...

And you are the team leader...

Do i really bring bad luck for you?

Because everytime i'm not here to support you for events..

You seems to make it better..

In magic, in chess...and others...

Maybe it's really better for me to choose this part...

You can have more times with your friends and magic...

You can do what you wanted all these while...

Work...

2011-12-16T20:12:00.002+08:00

Every now and then...

my colleague will call me...

Ask for this and that...

can't they just solve it themself??

I feel i going to give up on my work anytime soon...

I feel like hiding under the table...

I want someone to protect...

someone that will care for me...

I want to tell you...

I want to share with you...

But i don't know how...

And i end up msging you...

I know i shouldn't..

sorry...

I miss you..

2011-12-15T22:20:00.001+08:00

I miss you and I really do...

I still feel i need you...

What should I do?

I don't know whether i should tell you this or not?

I know that if i tell you this...

1) you might be very happy..and we can together again...

but i might hurt you again when i felt is not right..

2) you might be so hurt that you won't even want to care anymore...

both also i don't want it to happen....

How??

Heart...

can you tell me what to do?

Missed Call

2011-12-14T20:16:00.002+08:00

Today you called...

But i missed it...

Everytime i see a miss call...

I feel very happy...

It shows that you still care for me..

HAha..MAybe that's what i think only...

Thanks for the calls...

It really make my day :)

************************************

Another note...

I received my first christmas present this year..

A present that i always wanted..

But it's not from you...

How much i wish that this present is from you..

Because you are always the first to prepare christmas present for me...

Thanks to the person that prepare the present for me...

I don't want to disappoint you...

We can only be friends like I told you so.....

Care...

2011-12-13T23:26:00.001+08:00

Didn't go meeting today..

Don't feel like and don't want to...

Add also ku not feeling well...

Making it more time for me to think think think....

Waited for you to reply my msg...

So so so long...

that i fall asleep...

When you reply..

Wake up...

Read msg..

Reply..

Continue sleep...

I wonder why...

Why I still care...

Puss in the boots

2011-12-12T20:31:00.002+08:00

After so long, this is the first time we meet up for movie...

It feels abit weird...

Don't know what to say and what to do..

But thanks for the movie...

Makes me think back about Madagascar..

Our very first movie... :)

Thanks...

Sick Kaycie

2011-12-11T20:36:00.000+08:00

Wanted to ask you to come bring kaycie see doctor..

But you seems busy with Magic...

Can't spend time for her..

Everytime also like that..

Magic always seems so important to you...

When will you realise that...

we need some time also..

or maybe...

now you already don't need to think about spending the tine with us....

MAGIC...can you make miracle happen?

1 month....

2011-12-10T20:38:00.002+08:00

Today mark a month....

What happen in this one month really make me quite disappointed..

I don't know what I expect from you..

But i always think that 6years will make you think what to do and how to help us..

But you just stop there after 2 weeks...

With respect to my decision, you don't want to do anything anymore?

You asked me whether i want to share what i wasi thinking about?

I have too much in mind..

where should i start from?

how to say you have better life now?

Yes.maybe i assume too much...

But that is what i see from here..

I can't see much without you telling me what is happening...

I don't have eyes beside you to see what you doing and how you feel...

But i can see that you have better career...better achievement now..

That is why i say you have a better life now...

Maybe you don't agree with me..

Maybe i'm wrong...

But i really hope you will have a good one...

Sick

2011-12-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

Today you not feeling...

But i can't go and visit you...

or do something to make you feel better...

I only can sit here and msg you once awhile....

You should be ok...

still can go EM play PS3...

But me...

think think think..

worried worried worried...

I wonder what i should do... :(

Tomorrow will mark one 1 month !!

Sleep d? I not well

2011-12-08T23:59:00.000+08:00

When i wake up and read your msg...

I was worried..

But i cannot call you...

What should i do?

Food poisoning..

And yet you went to work...

So naughty...

Why must you do this to yourself?

Always sick also don't mc...

Don't know that people will worried about you...

You must guai guai..

I not by your site take care of you...

I cannot handle so much things...

Work, family and you...

I very tired...

I need someone to take care of me...

To help and guide me through this...

Singapore Pictures...

2011-12-07T01:01:00.001+08:00

My promise to you...

You just told me that you just saw the pictures...

and you really appreciate it..

Thanks..

I'm glad that you are happy about it..

I thought that you didn't want it to be there because i saw you untag previous pictures..

Makes me think for a moment..

Whether to show you those pictures or not...

If you don't know, i go to your facebook page everytime i login to facebook..

To see your condition, your location, and what you have been doing all this while...

hoping to see more of you there...especially when your friends upload your pictures...

Really thanks to them..

When i need you...

2011-12-06T23:07:00.001+08:00

Everyday i will wait for you to come and visit mum..

or more like accompanying me..

I want to see you..want to hug you..

want you to be with me..

but you didn't show up.....

I tried to message you..

To check with you whether you coming to visit mum or not...

You are too busy...

You can't come..

Everytime i see the door open...

My heart will skip a beat...

whether is it you...

But everytime i will fall back into disappointment...

It's others...but surely one that care for mum and me..

Making me calm for a moment...

At that moment...

I know...you are not here when i need you the most :(

Afraid of the unknown...

2011-12-05T01:12:00.001+08:00

When mum almost can't make it today, i really really hope that you are by my side..

I grab my phone..

Don't know what to do..

I called you...

I can barely talk...

Really scare...

Really afraid...

This time is for real that i can't do anything for mum...

Just to sit by her side..

To pray and hold her hands...

Dear, i really really wish that you can be here..

To accompany me through this...

Game day or something at EM...

2011-12-04T06:15:00.000+08:00

I starting to can't think properly..

I really need someone to depend one...

My dad don't know why keep go to badminton court..

My brother's computer game seems more important than anything...

It seems like you more willing to spend time at EM with your magic than me..

Why everyone like this?

I just need someone to pui me..

I really very very happy when you come and accompany me yesterday..

Although i wake up middle of the night, knowing that you called my brother to come leaving me with them...It does not feel good at that moment...

I want you to stay longer...

But..I cannot ask for it...

Having you to hug me throughout the hours...

Makes me feels calm and i can really relax for that moment...

Thanks for coming...

2011-12-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

I went to work today...after overnight at hospital accompany mum..

I didn't really sleep throughout the night...

It's not an easy task to take care of a patient...

Really...

I really salute nurses and patients' family member...

I'm glad that you offer to come and visit mum..

Cause you are the person that i want to meet the most aside from my relatives..

they come and scold...and just responding to their messages makes me exhausted...

Everyone was worried...and we can't do anything..

Besides praying and making all sorts of things for mum to eat..

Transferring mum to ICU today is not an easy task...

Out of no where...dad ask me to go home and rest..

Suddenly mum transfer to ICU.. platelet drop till 12??

I really don't know what to do.. :(

Please please tell me that mum is ok...

I'm sorry...I didn't want to..

2011-12-02T23:33:00.002+08:00

Thank you for bringing mum the medicine..

This is the first time i meet up with you after we become friends..

In a hospital...

A place that i wouldn't wish to meet anyone...

Messaging with you throughout the night makes me feel better..

Someone accompanying me..

Although the topic we say...

Makes me feel sad..

and i know how bad you feel...

When you said " ever since you unchecked me as ur relationship" that sounds really bad...

I remember i agreed to be your girlfriend is in friendster..

that time was in moral/ pengajian am class...

when to the computer lab and changed the status...

I changed the facebook status...to complicated after a week..and to nothing after 2 weeks..

when you didn't continue to do anything..

not even come and visit me...

i don't know...whether you really taking it seriously or not..

you only call or message once a while...

I don't know what you thinking of..

and i decided to do it..

so i need to end with what i started...

I'm Sorry...i didn't want to...

Hospital...

2011-12-02T01:41:00.000+08:00

Mum admitted to hospital and you still don't know about it..

I wanted to tell you..

But...don't know how to tell you..

Want you to come...

To comfort me maybe...

I hope you can be here...

Sleep d?

2011-12-01T07:45:00.001+08:00

Yes...i sleep d..

I guess everytime you can't sleep you also will message me...

I receive this message..But when i reply it's already early in the morning...

Sorry...

I didn't get to reply you earlier..

These times when i fall asleep...

I will go in deep sleep..

Maybe too much work..too much stress...

Too tired as well...

Mum is not feeling well today..

Might get admitted..

hope that she feels better later..

:(

2011-11-30T01:08:00.000+08:00

Money...

2011-11-29T04:02:00.000+08:00

This is so true...

Just like what i have been thinking lately..

About money...

Why i always ask you to buy this and that for me?

I want to know whether you can support me in the future or not..

Not that i really need you to buy for me now..

But i need someone that can support my life and my family...

Can provide me with a comfortable life...

I saw how difficult for my parents to work and take care of my family..

Even now..I still need to help out..

I don't want this problem to be another problem...

But...no one seems to understand...

Truth on Girls...

2011-11-28T01:00:00.001+08:00

Haha...i think these are really true...Something to think on...

Sometimes they are impatient...

sometimes they want to be the judge..

Sometimes they are emotional

sometimes they are immature...

But for what they will show this temper...

and to whom they will show this??

Only to the person...

That they seek love and care...

The person that they treasure and appreciate...

The Mines

2011-11-27T03:11:00.002+08:00

I was there that moment...and we didn't bump into each other..

Maybe we really don't have the connections..

You always don't like to go the mines for shopping..

Saw Winnie tag you with the planeswalker picture..

Your eyes looks so tired...

Must rest more...

Don't late late sleep k...

Don't keep work work work..

Must take some time off...

Shadow don't leave me k....

2011-11-26T13:09:00.002+08:00

The effect of can't sleep at night... :P

2011-11-25T04:10:00.001+08:00

Congrats..

2011-11-24T23:08:00.002+08:00

Not sure what is it..

But surely u did win something in work...

A step up again..

Glad that you make it better in career..

Seeing you growing up day by day makes me happy..

You use to be the person that blur blur don't know what to do..

And now you are in the team...

Leading and being lead...

Hope that everything will go on smoothly for u... ;)

Should I try Again??

2011-11-23T09:11:00.000+08:00

I don't know...whether i should try again or not??

What Should i do??

Denial...

2011-11-22T10:13:00.000+08:00

Is this for real?

Is this what i have been trying to deny all this while?

But...

I don't know..

Whether this is real...

I don't know whether this is the correct decision...

I don't know..

What i should do...

I really don't.... :(

Your friend

2011-11-21T21:49:00.002+08:00

Talked to jeehou today...

Not really talk...

Msged him regarding lai kuan's air condition and i want to know how you are doing...

So i asked him..whether he heard anything from you..

he say he know and you need time...

I ask him to take care of you...

I hope he will...

I can't take care of you...

You must careful...

Don't always fall sick...

Don't work so late...

When not well need to see doctor...

Tired need to rest...

Stay up late night not good a....

One more time...

2011-11-20T03:30:00.000+08:00

" I still can't sleep o. I really have been very sad these few days. Dear, really can we try one more time ma? I really miss u very much :( "

Everytime i receive messages like this...

I very tempted to say yes...

We try again..

But i'm afraid...

I scared that we can't make it...

And i will hurt you again..

I scare that i will drag this one for few more years..

And i repeat the same thing again...

I'm sorry...I really need to stand strong :(

Can't do anything..

2011-11-19T12:56:00.000+08:00

" I duno. just find things do lo. Keep thinking about u ma. Sad Sad lo but can't do anything. "

There's actually alot thing that you can do...
But you still haven't tried yet...

Everytime when i say the few words to you..

You will only message and call..

Have you think of coming to meet me and talk about it?

Maybe try to persuade me?

Maybe is good that way..because i know i will give in if you come...

Thanks for being there for me...

I'm sorry that i make you sad..

I hope that this will make a better future for you and me...

.....

2011-11-18T00:46:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I feel this way...

don't know whether you realise it or not...

When you need me...

When you think of me...

Then you will find me...

When you are busy...

when you have friends...

When you are working...

When you play magic...

You tend to forget about me...

Maybe...this is only from my point of view....

maybe you can tell me..

That's not what you have been thinking..