Sometimes..
I still think of you..
Wondering what you are doing..
Hmm..
It's been a year..
And i finally took of the picture..
I still miss you..
I still love you..
I know i do...
But yet..
I still need to let go...
You have your love one..
And i hope i will found one that love me too...
Will he be the one..
I don't know..
But i do hope that...
This one will be the final one..
I don't hope to experience the whole break down thing again..
Once...
It's really enough for a lifetime experience...
Dear...
take care... :)
Is it really time to let go our memories?
How come we became stranger?
Maybe... I still don't want to accept the fact that you are really gone...
Maybe... I still hope that one day you will be back...
Maybe... I think too much....
Maybe... This is what it should be...
Maybe... This is what you wanted...
Maybe... I can't change the fact...
Maybe... I really need someone near me...
Maybe... I will be strong...
Maybe... I still will be sad...
Maybe... I still want you near me...
Maybe... They are too many things that are near you...
Maybe... Somehow... I don't want them too...
Maybe... It's our memories...
Maybe... I somehow hope that you will think of me when you see them...
Maybe... You won't think of me anymore...
Maybe... You just need her by your side...
Maybe... I'm just a stepping stone...
Maybe... That's your happiness...
Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...
But what is for real?
That i'm alone and away from you now....
I miss you my dear...
Saw you yesterday...
After two months plus...
Hmm..
It's just weird...
Was looking at them..
Chit Chating..
Just have the urge to look back..
And there you are..
Still can sense where are you...
Dear..
Kinda miss talking to you..
Wondering what you are doing..
Tried not to look at your things..
Tried to pack up stuffs..
Yet..
I still can't managed to pack them all up...
Maybe..
I will try again this weekend..
And see where i can go from here...
Missing you..
Good Night!
Dear,
I think already very long. Whether to post this or not. I think i just hurt myself again :( i can't stand knowing that you are going far far away and not doing anything. I want to message you. But i' m afraid. Scare no reply from you. I don't know. I thought this is the easiest way out. But still i'm stuck here thinking. It's getting better. Less dream. Less thinking. It that cause i'm really starting to let go or i just don't have the time to think? Coz when i slow down the pace. Everything seems to come back to me again... Or when someone asked me bout you... What you are doing... Where you have been... Etc...
Why we have friends in common that still thinks we are a couple even your profile display picture shows that i'm no longer te girl beside you? The one that shares your hapliness, your thoughts, your laughter, your sadness, your workload,and many others....
Back to the days when we were there listening to each othr... Missing you so much... Just... Maybe i felt jealousy.... Still want to be there for you just like how i used to be... But no longer can...
Missing you... Safe journey and good luck dear.. :)
I showed sister this picture which reflects of what our situation are right now...
But i broke two people hurt for posting this to her as she posted it to make alert to others....
I'm not sure whether i did the right thing ornot..
But now...
They seems hurt...
What should i do?
It's just so true...
Take care..
Good night....
Today mark 7th years when everything started...
Is it still counted?
I still want to cont it that way..
Don't know whether seven is really a jinx number or what...
But it really happened to us...
I still will think of you..
I still will miss you..
And course I still love you...
But I guess..
I love you in a different way now...
That i know i can't be near you...
That i know someone replaced me...
To take care of you....
For the past 6 years..
We have spent tonight together..
Having dinner..
Spending time together..
With the same t-shirt...
Or anniversary shirt...
Watch movie or go genting highland....
It's all like just happened...
But..
Back to reality..
You have left...
For almost 10 months now...
Had dinner with your mum and sister just now instead of you...
Without you by my side...
It's just lonely..
I have a different life...
A more challenging one...
One that i can't depend on anyone..
But on myself...
To stand up again...
Lucky that...
I still have KayCie with me...
I hope that everything will go on smoothly for you...
Loving you always :)
He told me that he thinks i'm a very brave and strong girl...
He said that i'm optimistic...
Is it really that way?
Or..
Did I build the wall again?
Defence system increase another layer..
Hehe...
Today you ask to go yum cha...
Glad that you can spare some time out to meet up..
But sorry..
Was really busy...
Had appraisal...
And was really really tired..
Yesterday slept at 4++am...
Yet..
Still cannot finish...
Just now reach downstairs...
Saw a familiar car...
Suddenly felt very happy..
Thought that you are there to pick me up after work...
Dreaming?
Yeah..Maybe...
Felt is so "hang fuk" to have someone there to depend on...
To meet up after a day long at work...
For a meal or a drink...
It will not happen anymore...
But can feel the satisfaction if you were here :)
I guess..
That's the feeling when you are with her...
After work... Meet up..
Dear, stay happy k... :)
Good night...
Sorry blog....
Was not free to update daily like previous months..
Was not at home..
Not convenient to blog...
Was busy..
With work..
Tired..
Got time also will faint on bed..
Condition didn't get better after all...
What can I do?
Not too sure..
Just..
Keep smiling..
Keep head up..
Hope everything will be alright :)
If you are reading this, below post is for you...
Saw this post on facebook..
And the first thing i thought was you..
You always stay at that area until late night only go back..
Not sure whether now you still go back late or not..
But if you do..
Maybe after magic, or after yum cha, or after send her home..
Be careful k..
Nowadays alot things happening out there..
After the case at Kin Leong's house..
I still scared it will happen again..
If they just take your stuff, it's still ok..
Don't want them to hurt you...
Worried..
You always late late...
Try go home earlier and rest early :)
Very tired..
But still have lots of work to do...
No people to disturb...
Good night dear..
You know ma?
Yesterday went and see doctor..
He asked..
Did you have a tragic experience 6months ago?
Yeah..
He said..
Lucky i'm young..
Ornot..
I will fall in depression..
He asked..
Did i sleep well?
I smile..
Don't know what to answer..
I tried..
Not to follow your news..
Not to know what you doing..
Yet..
I still fall again..
I went and look at them again..
Dear..
Will i be ok?
Will i get to stand strong?
Sometimes..
I wonder...
Glad that you guys are having fun..
Happily ever after..
Miss those time we spend together...
Take care my dear..
It's been awhile since i come here..
Just to make sure that i don't fall even deeper...
Thanks for the wishes dear... :)
And Happy birthday Cheryl...
Miss you so much..
Hope you are doing great as well..
Bought lots of sweets..
Come and grab some if you are still around...
Dear,
Saw you the other day..
Don't know whether you saw us or not..
Cause was with your sister all the time and you messaged her...
Don't know that she's there..
Saw her as well..
Not sure whether she saw me..
Or if she knows me..
She came up to us and greeted..
I want hug hug...
Hehe..
I know can't get lu..
But still just to satisfy myself...
Want to write down here..
I'm better..
Still lost..
Still coping..
But i'm sure i can do just like you can too..
Take care and good night :)
Time flies.
It's been quite some time ever since you changed the password and i don't get to come in and post...
It's hard to let go..
And see your new pictures...
I choose to unsubscribe..
Yet..
People come and tell me bout your things...
What happened..
Etc..
What should i do?
I choose to leave..
To give you what you want..
Yet..
It still haunt me..
What can i do to really let go all of this?
I know..
You don't care me like you did anymore..
It's just maybe..
A friend care...
But..
Yet..
I still will think...
:(
Dear..
Take care..
And Congrats.. :)
I thought i'm ok...
Tried to login my facebook..
And i saw so many things...
How could i make it better for myself?
Should i really block you?
I don't want to...
But...
You make me feel that i'm really a fool for using so much time on you...
Just because i want you to treat her better..
Doesn't mean that i already can accept this fact...
I really hope that i can make it better..
Hope that i can find my own happiness and continue my journey of life...
It nice that you willing to stop magic for her...
Like what i told you...
You like magic so much more than me...
Just thinking how much you have change for her makes me feel that..
I really not that suitable for you..
But...
For you that have change part of yourself for me..
Thank you...
I still will love you...
Maybe not as a future partner..
But, dear...love you always...
I can't stand it that i don't message you when you are so far away...
I send a message...
Assuming that you are oversea...
The next morning...
Know that you started playing..
Send you another message..
Good luck..
And you replied...
Thank you for that... :)
I still don't dare to go in facebook...
I know i will see lots of things in there...
I will stand strong...
I will try...
I will also miss you like how you miss her..
Take care...
When the truth lies in front of you...
What will you do?
I'm surprise that i didn't cry when i first saw it..
Maybe..
I'm too tired to cry anymore..
Heart still will pain..
Like a knife hit it tremendously...
But..
What can I do?
Life still goes on...
My dear...
Like i always mention in my post...
Take good care of her...
Not easy for you to find each other finally...
It will not be an easy road..
Like what we face previously...
Just...
Hope that everything will goes on well for you....
Girl...
Still need to comfort...need to tham..
Don't always want to win...
Love may be blind...
But..Reality is there...
So, do take care of her heart as well...
Goodbye my dear..
My love one...
Some how some where...
Everyone say the same thing...
But still it doesn't goes into my mind...
I was told to stop contacting you...
Stop stalking you...
But i couldn't ...
Why i need to face this type of thing?
Can i just be a normal human being that someone loves someone care?
Now that you have her...
I can't force you to do anything any more right?
Someone will be calling you dear..
And you will be calling someone else dear...
Miss you my dear...
That is no longer here...
Where should i find you?
Today...
A few person have been asking me how are you..
including you...
What do you think?
How to face the fact that i'm hurt?
My boss told me not to tell you that i'm hurt...
But..
What's the differences?
Even you know..
Will you turn back?
How to be "siu sa" and walk away?
You all say alot times already..
Yet...
I still can't...
7 months...
What have i been thinking?
Please concentrate on your work now...
Maybe along the way..
You will be better...
You will found your true one....
I hope this is true...
I need a hug...
Someone please hug me....
:(
Good night...
I know where you went..
And who you went with..
I don't know what you trying to do..
You told me that sorry..
You didn't manage to reply me..
But..
You managed to post things on facebook...
Maybe you are with her...
Not convienent to message me..
I nderstand...
But...
I really not happy...
I'm sorry...
Today...
I try to fill my time as much as possible...
Not to think of you...
Yet...
I still do...
Reach Sepang Super GT...
Saw the cars you like...
Saw miku you like...
All i could think of is you...
How much fun you having there and all...
When will i find myself back?
I start to don't know what i like...
What i want...
I know i need help this time...
I almost break off the secret me and your sister kept today..
She don't know you going manila for magic..
She thought company trip..
I suddenly say you go korea and phuket..
They like so weird..
Why i know she don't know...
You talk to them more la...
She's your sister..
and they are your family members...
I can't talk to you so much already..
If you don't want...
Maybe she can help you out...
Be more close to them..
When anything happen...
Still family is the one that matters most...
Take care...
Good night...
Another 1 month till my birthday and 2 months till our anniversary...
More like an ex-anniversary...
A word that i have been resisted to use for the past months...
Reading your post yesterday and today..
Make me feel more lonely...
Not sure you went with her or your company...
But, i still remember asking you to see sunrise with me at Kuantan...
You don't want..
Want to sleep :(
And now...
You can watch beautiful sunrise together...
I always tell myself that...
I should give up..
I will find someone better..
Someone that really love me and care for me...
But..
Why i still felt it?
Should i block you?
But blocking it's just falling into denial again..
Will i get to pull myself up from this hole that i have been digging for so long...
Will another prince charming come and save me?
My dear,
I'm glad that you are happy..
You see the future once again..
But, if once you turn back,
You will see the one that you once love...
Still hurt...
Still struggling...
I know..
It has been a tough road for you as well...
And i hope...
Although i hate to say this....
This new one will really bring happiness to you...
Loving you always...
Didn't get to talk to you ever since yesterday...
How?
I so want to talk to you so badly..
You told me to ask you things in msn if i don't know..
But..
If i continue to dependent on you,
when will i let you go?
:(
Thinking about yesterday's hugs...
Missing you...
Good night..
