This Is Our Story

I wonder what you feel when we finally split the line..
I was really angry at you when you want to cut the line off if i don't cooperate with you..
It's not that i don't want to cooperate but i'm working..
I have meeting...
Don't use those words towards me ok?
I know i hurt you before...
But the damage on me is worst than you can think...

Sorry..
I got angry and took off the necklace you gave me..

So, yes..
We went and split the line..
You asked lots of questions and answered lots of it..
You were busy checking your phone, calling..
Not sure...
Maybe message her...
Don't know...

But, you look so different...
Your face got so many scar...
You look so tired...
You cut your beard...
leaving 1...
or maybe you didn't see that..

You asked about my condition, my work, my family...
I just answered...
Because i don't dare to ask you what i want to know because i don't want to hear things that i don't want to... :(

You asked for a hug before i leave..
Is this the last hug that you will give me...
Or...
I don't know...
I still feel you...
You hug is so powerful...
So tight and firm...
Make me don't want to leave you..
But i know..
I can't hug long..
I know i need to let go...

Miss you so much...
Thank you for everything...
Really..
I will always love you...
Even when i want to hate you..
I still turn out to still care about you...

If what i feel is really true...
I want you to take good care of her..
Make her happy like you once did to me...
Although i don't want to give you to her...
I still want you to be happy...
Loving you is my the best thing i ever did..

Thank you...
Won't be wishing you alone good night again..
Maybe just here...
Good night..

even i know that this will happen one day... why i still feel so sad?? why i still want to wish you to be happy yet i can't be happy myself? how to make this feelings away? being a stone maybe it's not a bad choice afterall... won't need to have feelings for anyone.. don't have to be sad... don't have to be happy... just need to sit at a corner.. without anyone realise you are there or not... because they won't realise whether you have change or not... happy or sad... nothing to show... i always think that there will always still chance for us... since you say you not sure about future.. why bluff me when you know that it's not true?? why make me trust you when you know you will not stay... why???? i know i cannot blame you because this is what i choose.. maybe. this is the result and i have to bear with the consequences.. i'm sorry... i know i say i won't cry for you anymore... but i did... once again... you break my heart that haven't heal... i'm sorry to myself... i broke your own promise.. good nite my dear.. forever not mine anymore...

I know what you are doing..
And i felt it so much...
Because i know what is happening?

Why must you do back the same thing you to me to her?
The games, songs, and things you did to make me happy..
To laugh at your jokes...
To smile and pampered with your songs...
That song i introduced to you...
Can't you keep it for us?

Why do i have to deal with this?
I feel like blocking you so much...
That i don't have to see all this anymore..
But...
I don't want to lose contact with you...
I still want you in my life..
Maybe you don't need me anymore...

But..
You made an important point in my life..
And i wish to keep this memories...
As for now..
It's the best i ever had...

I hope...
My time spent with you..
You will treasure it as well..
Only to know that it's impossible... :(
Take care my dear..
Take care of her as well...

Chester asked..
Cedric answered Kenneth la...

I said no..
He said don' bluff...
Even children also don't believe me :(

They like to ask this question...
When only will i get to answer them?
Can someone please help me to answer them...

While outside whole day with mum...
Whole brain keep thinking...

If i meet you here..
What i should do..
Since you like to bring me to new places previously...

But..
I never do...

***************************************************

Today..
Keep finding ways to hide from mum about her present...
She so cute...
She said "i want present...."
We didn't give her her Mother's Day present and Birthday Present yet...
So pity... :P

Will see when can we keep the secret...
Or maybe we should reveal it...
Hehe...
Thinking...

Good Night...

of 3rd job...

Spend the whole day...
facebook, msn, looking at strangers and smile...

Hope that next week will be better..
At least some fun stuff to work with...

He's having fun..
Seems so happy..
Maybe even happier than with me..
That's why he can let go so easily...
Should be happy for him that he found someone better..
More suitable for him than me..

But..
Why i feel heart not well?
Felt it so much... :(

Will you get me someone else as well?
So that i can move on as well?
:(