I just need you by my side accompany me..
Then i'm satisfy...
Just now you stay up late play card and tetris..
i call you also didn't answer...
Don't know it's purposely dowan answer or really busy cannot answer..
Hmm...
I hope is the second one..
Maybe playing tetris..
Or didn't hear you...
You play awhile..
then i ask u sleep...
You say ok..
Then suddenly you invite me again...
Why suddenly come back again?
Win me to many times ma?
Hehe..
Want make you same level with me..
Almost d...
Ken didn't msg or reply to my post le..
Maybe he really hear tou what i said to you while talking on the phone with him...
So he also angry le..
Is it i want to get back with you..
Then will make every other person angry?
Really...If need to make everyone happy...
I will be the most lonely person... :(
Even know everyone angry at me...
You also angry at me..
Leaving me alone...
I don't know whether i upload this before or not..
I today whole day didn't msg you..
End up..
You also didn't msg me..
You really don't care anymore??
When i msg u, u ask me don't come meet you for lunch tomorrow because you will be busy..
You won't have time, scare no parking, scare rushing... etc...
Is it just scare to meet me?
Sorry..
I know i fan..
I just want to meet you..
Last time you say i didn't go find you..
Now i purposely take leave..
You don't let me go find you..
:(
Yesterday night i message you until today night 9 plus only you reply me..
you really don't care anymore ma?
I called you..
you didn't answer..
Later, you reply in message ask why..
Is it friends then don't have to return call already?
I'm sorry..
Maybe i'm expecting too much..
Still thinking that you will try to do things for me..
To make me happy...
Maybe...
But...
Probably...
All this will not happen anymore...
:(
I feel you are stranger to me when you are away..
When we are together..
At least once in awhile..
Maybe you forgot..
You will call me dear...
Dear...
I'm sorry...
I really know my mistake...
Can we try again?
:(
1st time drive to meet you for lunch..
Don't know you will happy or feel i very fan..
Disturb you..
But i very happy..
Get to meet you :)
Although need drive...
Scare..
See road..
Here and there also car..
Hehe..
Eat at Bangsar Shopping Village i think...
Not sure which one is the correct name but the one up the hill..
Last time we use to walk up the hill from HELP
Still remember ma?
You bring me eat food court..
LOL..
It's ok la..
Get to meet you..
Eat lunch..
Eat lunch..
Already very happy..
Glad that you like the present that I got for you..
Today hear you call me dear again..:)
Although it might be you guan already...
Still Happy...
Hehe..
Thanks for the day..
Thank you for spending time with me.
Really appreciate it..
Happy o..
Hehe..
Always wanted to hug you and hold your hands..
But i don't dare...
:P
Scare next time you don't dare watch movie with me already..
Hehe..
Movie don't know nice or not..
I too busy closing eyes..
When they shoot at each other...
And also peeking at you.. LOL..
So long time didn't meet you..
See tou you very happy..
Get to update on what you have been doing and stuff..
Mum said that kaycie know you came..
she bark to come out from the cage..
Then run and meet you...
When i come back, she just stay in cage..
Didn't come out..
Really seems like she also sad sad like me...
Hope that this weekend can bring her go gai gai lo.. :)
Love you..
Hope you like your present...
After 1 month, i finally get to meet you...
and what you told me is that you will come and visit for CNY and not for movie??
But, we initially plan for a movie...
Why do you need to rush home?
You said that you want to go back at 2pm..
You don't want to spend whole day...
Is it very difficult to spend time with me?
We haven't meet for so long..
Went to your house..
To surprise you after praying..
But you not well..
Very early sleep already..
Call and message also no reply..
So i don't dare keep call..
Waited and waited..
While writing my letter...
Everytime my birthday..
I will wish that you will come overnite..
And surprise me...
but that never happen..
At least during the day still got..
Haha....
Because you not free during the day..
I also need go Genting Highlands..
so this year birthday..
Can't celebrate with you.
Sorry o dear..
I wanted to leave the present outside your house..
But scare raining..
Scare will give people take go..
So i didn't..
You will receive this present late o..
Coz i only can meet you on 3rd day..
Tomorrow need go Aunty pearly house..
You also busy...
Don't know happy or sad..
Last time i always say you didn't spend time with your friends except magic..
Now you keep spend time with time..
I got abit jealous..
Because...I already..
Very long time didn't meet you... :(
I miss you...
Better get some sleep now..
Better get some sleep now..
Today you go shopping with who a?
You say alone..
Sorry..
But i feel you with someone else..
Not sure whether my six sense correct or not...
But usually you don't go shopping alone..
And you don't let me follow you..
is it you really hate me??
I don't know..
I really feel the pain..
When you watch movie,
I called you..
You ask me to talk next time..
coz you want to watch movie??
What do you think i am?
I know i hurt you..
Do I have to go through this kind of treatment?
When you are bored, nothing do..
Then you will look for me..
Call me and talk...
When you are busy..
Accompanied with friends and work..
Then you not free to care me?
I'm sorry for hurting you in the past..
But you are really hurting me this few weeks...
I everyday hold jue the hp..
wait you msg..wait you call..
When in MSN, you say hi..
I will be super happy..
Faster reply..
But need to wait super long for you to reply me..
I read on articles..
How to win you back..
Most of it...
Says...to let you go...
If you really love me, you will come back..
But i already let you go very far away..
I scare you lost your way..
Back here...
I don't want to be left alone... :(
Mum ask me..
Why i always look so sad and tired..
Like no mood...
MUM, in fact..
I really no mood..
I just don't want to stay at one place...
One people..
Keep think things..
I need people to accompany me..
To bring me through
Please... HELP ME!!
Dear... :(
How are you?
Should be better than me..
Can eat and sleep well..
Today just decide to watch also can't decide properly..
Even ask to talk on phone also you don't want...
Can i know what you want actually?
Are you seeing someone else already?
Just a thought...
Why you treating me so cool...
How come i always see things that make myself sad???????????????????????????
I really don't want to do it this way..
Can someone please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today i being bullied..
First person i look for is you..
Thank you for replying to my msg...
Really appreciate it..
Feel so sad at the moment..
Maybe i stupid..
I go and answer her back...
In a way, i think i'm very brave..
A pat on the shoulder..
In another way, i think i'm stupid..
End up with more scoldings...
Maybe i already want to cry..
Add on with that, make me cry..
Haiz..
When will she bank in??
I want to give her my letter also..
Although i don't know where i should go..
Where i should work?
Because..
I lost the sense of time...in this world.. :(
He ask me and wen to help him clean up lai kuan house..
To surprise her when she come back...
Once reach the house, it's like being robbed...
So messy..everything is on the floor..
Shoes..Food...Rubbish....
After clean up...
So much better...
So nice..
So clean..
Just a few hours thing..
Can help to make someone happy...
Something very worth it..
Went swimming also before that..
When i lay relax facing up to the sky...
All i think is you..
What you are doing..
Where are you..
How are you..
In the peaceful...
No other sound world..
I still think of you...
I really hope that we still can make it...
Can we?
I miss your hug so much...
My aunt ask me i how...
Hug me...
Say that she will always be my kuku...
I straight cry already...
Seems like i'm really hurt now...
Aiks..
How to stop this?
Today went shopping alone...
Just to make sure that i not at home simply think things..
End up also the same..
Went to KLCC with kor...
Sit the same car as your car..
Went to the same place like with you previously...
Still remember we do the survey in the park...
Walk around the park so tired..
Give the guard chase around...
Miss those moments..
Went to Toy R Us...
Saw the lego and remember how we use to press press and guess which is which figure...
Went to Charlie Brown Cafe...
Remember the moment we at Penang...
taking pictures all around...
This outlet food not bad...Just portion quite small...
Outlet size also small compare to Penang outlet..
Now i know..
How walking alone so not nice..
No ppl to give opinion..
No ppl to talk to...
No ppl to joke with...
No ppl to play around...
Thanks for being here all this while...
Why i always so naive that you will still come back to me?
Why i keep waiting for a chance to talk to you?
Why i think that you will remember that i want to talk to you?
Even when i ask you so..
You say that you not free now..
After hours...
Yet no news from you..
When you feel that you need me then you come to me..
When you feel lonely..
You will want to talk to me..
When you have your friends around?
You don't need me?
I think i post about this before..
Yet i still feel the same today..
I felt being abandon..
maybe this is what you felt previously..
But i didn't keep you waiting...
Can you help me out?
I really don't like myself being like this..
Because of one..tree..
I can leave the whole jungle...
I just need one people that really really care for me..
Know what i want..
Guide me through this life that i don't know how to deal with...
She keep say that i know i don't like you..
I know it's a habit to have you...
But i don't...
i don't know why..
I just want you here...
To see you safe and happy...
Is all I need now...
Now i know
How much i care for you..
How much i worried bout you..
How much i want to know about your news..
How much i want to hear your voice...
How much i want to know where are you
Just by a simple message from your friend..
I felt so much more calm...
I felt so much better...
Even my tears roll down my check unconsciously...
I was afraid that something bad might happen to you...
I never been this worried for a very long time already...
I'm sorry..
Thank you for replying to my message when i finally know where are you...
Although it didn't sound very nice...
At least you reply...
At least i heard from your side..
Now i know
How much i want you by my side..
How much i want to hug you now...
Telling you how much i miss you...
I'm sorry for everything..
I just need to know about you...
張學友 - 我真的受傷了 .:. Jacky Cheung - Wo Zhen De Shou Shang Le
0 Thoughts Your's truly, KayCie at 12:35 AMPin-Yin / English Translation
Chuang wai yin tian le yin yue di sheng le
Outside the window it's cloudy, the music is hushed
Wo de xin kai shi xiang ni le
My heart begins to think of you
Deng guang ye an le yin yue di sheng le
The lighting is lowered too, the music is hushed
Kou zhong de mian hua tang ye yong hua le
The cotton candy in my mouth has melted too
Chuang wai yin tian le ren shi wu liao le
Outside the window it's cloudy, I am bored
Wo de xin kai shi xiang ni le
My heart begins to think of you
Dian hua xiang qi lai ni yao shuo hua le
The phone rings, you want to speak
Hai yi wei ni xin li dui wo you xiang nian le
And I had thought that your heart was missing me again
Zen me ni sheng yin bian de leng dan le
How is it your voice has become indifferent
Shi ni bian le shi ni bian le
You have changed, you have changed
Deng guang shi mie le yin yue jing zhi le
The light has gone out, the music has been stilled
Di xia de yan lei yi ting bu zhu le
The dropping tear cannot be held back either
Tian xia qi yu le ren shi bu kuai le
The skies begin to rain, I am unhappy
Wo de xin zhen de shou shang le
My heart has really been hurt
Chuang wai yin tian le yin yue di sheng le
Outside the window it's cloudy, the music is hushed
Wo de xin kai shi xiang ni le
My heart begins to think of you
Deng guang ye an le yin yue di sheng le
The lighting is lowered too, the music is hushed
Kou zhong de mian hua tang ye yong hua le
The cotton candy in my mouth has melted too
Chuang wai yin tian le ren shi wu liao le
Outside the window it's cloudy, I am bored
Wo de xin kai shi xiang ni le
My heart begins to think of you
Dian hua xiang qi lai ni yao shuo hua le
The phone rings, you want to speak
Hai yi wei ni xin li dui wo you xiang nian le
And I had thought that your heart was missing me again
Zen me ni sheng yin bian de leng dan le
How is it your voice has become indifferent
Shi ni bian le shi ni bian le
You have changed, you have changed
Deng guang shi mie le yin yue jing zhi le
The light has gone out, the music has been stilled
Di xia de yan lei yi ting bu zhu le
The dropping tear cannot be held back either
Tian xia qi yu le ren shi bu kuai le
The skies begin to rain, I am unhappy
Wo de xin zhen de shou shang le
My heart has really been hurt
Heard this song in the radio..
Every single word in this song really portrays what i feel and think...
I'm sorry...
I'm really hurt...
I miss you...
Maybe you will think of another thing..
But..
What i am referring to is chong..
So no worries..
I cry cry...
Almost every night...
Chong ask why eyeswollen...
First first she ask i is drink alot water...
Today she ask me..
I is it cry?
How to make sure that other ppl don't know i cry?
To not cry?
But..
Everytime i close eyes then i will start thinking..
Start visualizing what have been happening this few months...
I'm sorry...
Is really hard for me to let go...
I'm sorry..
But i still want to know what you are doing..
So i tried going into ur email again...
But you changed it already...
Does that mean that really reach the end already?
I not happy but i can't do anything...
I decided to find my cheerful self again...
Maybe with mask...
maybe without mask..
I already tried..
Now time will do the magic..
And see what magic will he give me..
Or us..
Thank you for this six years..
I really had alot first time together with you..
I really appreciate the effort.. the sacrifice you did...
For all the tears, laughter, sweat and magic you offered..
I love you, my dear
I wanted to hug you...
But I don't dare..
I'm afraid that you will push me away..
I wanted to look at you straight in the eyes..
But i don't dare..
I'm afraid that i will start crying...
I wanted to tell you how much i care...
But i don't dare..
I'm afraid that you tell me other ways..
I wanted to tell you how much i worried..
But i don't dare..
I'm afraid that you wouldn't reply...
I wanted to look back at you..
But i don't dare..
I'm afraid to see you walk away from me...
I wanted to stay with you longer
But i don't dare..
I'm afraid that i will not let you go..
But i'm happy that you make it today..
I cried..Again..
I'm sorry...
I don't want to give up..
Please don't give up yet..
76 months of holding hands...
2 months of tears and separation...
that includes..
1 month of phone calls...
2 weeks of thinking...
1 week of messages...
and now?
Can i make the number increase?
Happy 6 1/2 Anniversary !
I will continue counting...until the day comes...
Will my banana still do the same?
But I know this one is smiling at you..
Hope you are smiling too :)
Maybe really because alot people interfere us...
Makes me think too much...
Makes me make this decision...
that might not suit us...
I'm sorry...
I really have alot people beside me that thinks we are not suitable for each other...
How they complain you not good..
I still decide to stay..
Until that day...
I don't know why...
Really say it out...
Sorry....
Don't know whether you will still like the song..
Care for me no matter what happens...
Tomorrow is 2months since i ended it...
And also is our 6 1/2 years anniversary since we started it..
You still remember ma?
If you still, I will be very happy...
Thinking to ask you for a dinner tomorrow...
But don't know whether you will like it...
I don't know what are you thinking...
I don't know what you are planning...
I still need some guidelines...
If you still need me to be in your life...
I'm sorry that i was lead away...
I'm sorry that i was not strong enough..
I'm sorry that i worried too much...
I'm sorry that i care too much...
Hope that you are happy :)
I wonder whether you read this blog...
I really don't know what to do..
I know i say i won't ask you anymore..
But i really can't stand it..
How?
Everytime
i pass by certain place..
i use certain things..
i look at my phone..
i wear my clothes..
i come into my room...
i also will think tou..
I always want to keep them..
But where to keep and what to keep?
Everything is related to you....
Either the place that we always go..
Things that we always do and eat...
Clothes that you like..
Our anniversary clothes...
Our picture...Our photo album...
My memory...
How to hide all this thing away and continue working like you do?
Can you teach me how?
How come you can?
You say you did not let go?
But...
Why like this?
I really really sorry...
Yesterday I didn't go out coz i not happy...
I message you..
Very happy you very fast reply already...
After mum they all left..
You also didn't reply already...
I waited waited...
Cry cry then sleep already..
Morning wake up..
see tou you got reply me..
Although sad so long only reply...
Still happy that you reach home safely...
and message me..
Thank you...
Having your message make me feel calm...
Don't know you will feel like this ornot...
Maybe...
I already use to message you...
Stopping myself from calling and messaging really painful...
Sorry that i made you feel this way previously..
I must be hurt you really badly that you can build this wall between us...
I'm sorry...
I also know how you feel when attend ppl wedding..
Coz i went twice already...without you...
Seeing their wedding picture really heartaching..
They went and take picture at places that they always go..
And this few places...also is the place we always go..
If we really have chance to take these pictures..
Can we do the same too?
I really hope that we can start a new one...
Maybe telling each other what's our expectation..
At least this way, we don't have to guess what each thinking..
But don't know whether still have this chance or not..
I will be here waiting...
Really here for you...
Not " I always here for you" like you said...
But...
:(
Hope you are happy doing what you want best......
1st thing in the morning..
Chong ask..
"you drink alot water before sleep?"
Ah...coz my eye zhong a?
*not drink alot water...is shed too much tears*
2nd question...
When are you getting married?
In a day..
Few people ask me this question...
Last time i know what i will answer them..
But now?
What should i answer?
Everytime go out meeting with chong..
She sure will ask about you...
Ask me i how...
You treat me good or not...
One important thing she day today is...
At this stage, is all about trust...
Yes..
Trust...
I trust you..
No matter what is your decision...
I will respect it...
3rd question...
"why you look so blur blur today?"
I don't know...
Not enough sleep + cannot sleep + Not feeling well + Heart aching + etc...
*coz i get an answer that i don't want and i can't change it..better to be blur blur *
Hope that everything went on well for you :)
Seriously..
I can't sleep...
I decided to put a stop...
On whatever i have been trying to do...
To maybe make you look back...
But your focus now is only on money...
To earn more money...
I don't know...
I starting to give up...
To think that this world is not suitable for me...
I don't know what to do...
I don't know what can be done...
I don't have purpose in life..
I don't have real circle of friends...
I don't have a career...just plain job....
Is is better that way?
then I don't have to think..
Then i will be free...
Only woried...
My family...and Kaycie....
Who will take care of them...
But what i can do?
no one knows how hard i cry...
no one knows what is happening inside me..
no one knows this secret which is hiding in me...
Since this is what you want, i can't say no...
Even i say no, you still won't come back...
I just need to stop crying...
STOP!!!! STOP!!!! STOP!!!!
No one care...
Not feeling well...When in aircon room...
Very hot..
When downstairs..
Very cold...
But temperature normal...
Can't see doctor...
Whats wrong with me??
I don't want to fall sick..
I don't want to stay at home..
I don't want to lie on bed whole day...
I don't want to think things...
Nice one...
Just something that reflects what i'm thinking...
Today sky also got alot stars...
Blink blink blink...
So pretty...
Wonder when can we see stars together...
I look up to the sky..
So many stars...
Did you miss me??
I miss you..
Miss the moment you told me that what each star represent..
And how much we meant for each other...
I guess...
That's something to think about now...
Meet someone just now..
And he asked...
Do you have boyfriend?
Usually this question..
I answer very fast...
But today..
I hesitate..
Whether to nod my head or not?
Dad was there....
And i answered yes...
Do I still?
I also want to know...
Usually got all this event,
I also will ask you bring me go take picture..
Christmas, New year...
You will bring me go around KL, genting...
Take nice nice picture..
This time i went myself..
Bear bear travel around the world for 2002 till now..
Finally reach malaysia....
You know la..
I so like bear bear..
Suddenly got people say want fetch me go there..
Always wanted to ask you go..
But don't dare...
Like when you say go movie..
Everytime you have something in between then will forget d...
Or you may say that we didn't really make the promise..
Sorry..
Coz last time say already tomorrow go where..
Then sure will go..
Not say already then didn't go..
At least we will go out first..
Then if lastly change we also will go out...
Guan already...
Coz i really want you to go...
Tried to ask you..
But you not free...
Really miss those times..
where we spend together..
I know you don't like to take picture..
But i want to take with you a..
Especially take you alone want picture..
Or disturb you want picture...
So that now...
I still have many many pictures with me..
Can see through...
But, you alone want picture..
I don't really have...
Coz you will angry...or sad sad...
When i want take your picture..
Curi curi take..you also will know...
I like see you have different expression..
So, don't want always face down down k..
I know, towards others you have different faces...
Towards me, also different..
Just want to see you smile happily... :)
Miss you...
Say goodbye to 2011 is kinda tough..
Although is a tough and challenging year,
I learned the most...
In work, in family, in you...
In work,
i learned to be patient, to accept what it takes...
to work on what is there for me..
and still never learn to say no..
In family,
i learned the importance of them...
especially mummy..
was really afraid that she will leave me the other day...
need to spend more time..
and don't always fight back...
In you,
I made mistakes..
And i learned to accept it
As you said, you won't turn back..
I guess that is what i should do now..
To respect what you decide..
I learned that no point for me to continue asking
I need to learn to let go...
Back to square one..
This will be very difficult...
I don't know whether i can make it or not..
Let's just see what will happen...
I'm sorry...2012...
I started it badly..
I don't hope that it will continue throughout like this..
I don't want to be sad..
Someone...please bring me out from this place...
Please....
you don't want to look back?
Fine. Then don't.
Don't ask me to go out here and there.
Because that makes me look back.
If you don't want, then don't lead someone there.
You say i childish?
Maybe. because i only keep think how to make it right..
How to make you not sad anymore...
I know i stupid..
I thought this way you will be more mature...
Know where is the problem...
But until now you still don't know what is it and where is it...
Care and love is 2 different thing...
If you really still love me, wouldn't it be a good thing that i want us to be together again?
But you say it's not fair to you..
Not fair to you in what sense?
Coz You need to suffer the 1 month time?
You think i didn't?
You think you alone not happy?
Like i said, you have your friends, your game, and career...
What i have?? i didn't even tell anyone about it...
Because I still giving you chance...
I still want to see what is there to do...
But you already accepted is a final...
If you really want to have a happy ending, why you still want to do this??
you don't understand, i also don't understand..
Sorry for yelling at you..
But i really can't stand anymore...
i already put down..
Talk to you..
Ask you about it...
And this is what you return me...
I'm sorry...
But I really sad...
I really feel i very stupid..
very childish...
for asking you again...
making myself sad and miserable...
Even in dream, also keep thinking of this...
Really very tired...
Cry cry cry...
For What???
I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
