This Is Our Story

Sometimes..
I still think of you..
Wondering what you are doing..

Hmm..
It's been a year..
And i finally took of the picture..
I still miss you..
I still love you..
I know i do...

But yet..
I still need to let go...

You have your love one..
And i hope i will found one that love me too...

Will he be the one..
I don't know..
But i do hope that...
This one will be the final one..

I don't hope to experience the whole break down thing again..
Once...
It's really enough for a lifetime experience...

Dear...
take care... :)

Is it really time to let go our memories?
How come we became stranger?

Maybe... I still don't want to accept the fact that you are really gone...
Maybe... I still hope that one day you will be back...
Maybe... I think too much....
Maybe... This is what it should be...
Maybe... This is what you wanted...
Maybe... I can't change the fact...
Maybe... I really need someone near me...
Maybe... I will be strong...
Maybe... I still will be sad...
Maybe... I still want you near me...
Maybe... They are too many things that are near you...
Maybe... Somehow... I don't want them too...
Maybe... It's our memories...
Maybe... I somehow hope that you will think of me when you see them...
Maybe... You won't think of me anymore...
Maybe... You just need her by your side...
Maybe... I'm just a stepping stone...
Maybe... That's your happiness...
Maybe... Maybe... Maybe...

But what is for real?

That i'm alone and away from you now....
I miss you my dear...

Saw you yesterday...
After two months plus...

Hmm..
It's just weird...
Was looking at them..
Chit Chating..
Just have the urge to look back..
And there you are..
Still can sense where are you...

Dear..
Kinda miss talking to you..
Wondering what you are doing..
Tried not to look at your things..
Tried to pack up stuffs..
Yet..
I still can't managed to pack them all up...

Maybe..
I will try again this weekend..
And see where i can go from here...

Missing you..

Good Night!

Dear,

I think already very long. Whether to post this or not. I think i just hurt myself again :( i can't stand knowing that you are going far far away and not doing anything. I want to message you. But i' m afraid. Scare no reply from you. I don't know. I thought this is the easiest way out. But still i'm stuck here thinking. It's getting better. Less dream. Less thinking. It that cause i'm really starting to let go or i just don't have the time to think? Coz when i slow down the pace. Everything seems to come back to me again... Or when someone asked me bout you... What you are doing... Where you have been... Etc...

Why we have friends in common that still thinks we are a couple even your profile display picture shows that i'm no longer te girl beside you? The one that shares your hapliness, your thoughts, your laughter, your sadness, your workload,and many others....

Back to the days when we were there listening to each othr... Missing you so much... Just... Maybe i felt jealousy.... Still want to be there for you just like how i used to be... But no longer can...

Missing you... Safe journey and good luck dear.. :)

I showed sister this picture which reflects of what our situation are right now...
But i broke two people hurt for posting this to her as she posted it to make alert to others....

I'm not sure whether i did the right thing ornot..
But now...
They seems hurt...
What should i do?

It's just so true...

Take care..
Good night....

Today mark 7th years when everything started...
Is it still counted?
I still want to cont it that way..

Don't know whether seven is really a jinx number or what...
But it really happened to us...

I still will think of you..
I still will miss you..
And course I still love you...

But I guess..
I love you in a different way now...
That i know i can't be near you...
That i know someone replaced me...
To take care of you....

For the past 6 years..
We have spent tonight together..
Having dinner..
Spending time together..
With the same t-shirt...
Or anniversary shirt...
Watch movie or go genting highland....

It's all like just happened...
But..
Back to reality..
You have left...
For almost 10 months now...
Had dinner with your mum and sister just now instead of you...
Without you by my side...
It's just lonely..

I have a different life...
A more challenging one...
One that i can't depend on anyone..
But on myself...
To stand up again...
Lucky that...
I still have KayCie with me...

I hope that everything will go on smoothly for you...

Loving you always :)

He told me that he thinks i'm a very brave and strong girl...
He said that i'm optimistic...

Is it really that way?
Or..
Did I build the wall again?
Defence system increase another layer..
Hehe...

Today you ask to go yum cha...
Glad that you can spare some time out to meet up..
But sorry..
Was really busy...
Had appraisal...
And was really really tired..
Yesterday slept at 4++am...
Yet..
Still cannot finish...

Just now reach downstairs...
Saw a familiar car...
Suddenly felt very happy..
Thought that you are there to pick me up after work...
Dreaming?
Yeah..Maybe...
Felt is so "hang fuk" to have someone there to depend on...
To meet up after a day long at work...
For a meal or a drink...

It will not happen anymore...
But can feel the satisfaction if you were here :)

I guess..
That's the feeling when you are with her...
After work... Meet up..
Dear, stay happy k... :)

Good night...

Sorry blog....
Was not free to update daily like previous months..
Was not at home..
Not convenient to blog...
Was busy..
With work..
Tired..
Got time also will faint on bed..

Condition didn't get better after all...
What can I do?
Not too sure..
Just..
Keep smiling..
Keep head up..
Hope everything will be alright :)

If you are reading this, below post is for you... 

Saw this post on facebook..
And the first thing i thought was you..
You always stay at that area until late night only go back..
Not sure whether now you still go back late or not..
But if you do..
Maybe after magic, or after yum cha, or after send her home..
Be careful k..
Nowadays alot things happening out there..
After the case at Kin Leong's house..
I still scared it will happen again..
If they just take your stuff, it's still ok..
Don't want them to hurt you...

Worried..
You always late late...
Try go home earlier and rest early :)

Very tired..
But still have lots of work to do...
No people to disturb...
Good night dear..

You know ma?
Yesterday went and see doctor..
He asked..
Did you have a tragic experience 6months ago?
Yeah..
He said..
Lucky i'm young..
Ornot..
I will fall in depression..

He asked..
Did i sleep well?
I smile..
Don't know what to answer..

I tried..
Not to follow your news..
Not to know what you doing..
Yet..
I still fall again..
I went and look at them again..

Dear..
Will i be ok?
Will i get to stand strong?
Sometimes..
I wonder...

Glad that you guys are having fun..
Happily ever after..
Miss those time we spend together...

Take care my dear..

It's been awhile since i come here..
Just to make sure that i don't fall even deeper...

Thanks for the wishes dear... :)

And Happy birthday Cheryl...
Miss you so much..
Hope you are doing great as well..
Bought lots of sweets..
Come and grab some if you are still around...

Dear,
Saw you the other day..
Don't know whether you saw us or not..
Cause was with your sister all the time and you messaged her...
Don't know that she's there..
Saw her as well..
Not sure whether she saw me..
Or if she knows me..
She came up to us and greeted..

I want hug hug...
Hehe..
I know can't get lu..
But still just to satisfy myself...
Want to write down here..

I'm better..
Still lost..
Still coping..
But i'm sure i can do just like you can too..

Take care and good night :)

Time flies.

It's been quite some time ever since you changed the password and i don't get to come in and post...

It's hard to let go..
And see your new pictures...
I choose to unsubscribe..
Yet..
People come and tell me bout your things...
What happened..
Etc..


What should i do?
I choose to leave..
To give you what you want..
Yet..
It still haunt me..

What can i do to really let go all of this?
I know..
You don't care me like you did anymore..
It's just maybe..
A friend care...

But..
Yet..
I still will think...
:(

Dear..
Take care..
And Congrats.. :)

I thought i'm ok...
Tried to login my facebook..
And i saw so many things...

How could i make it better for myself?
Should i really block you?
I don't want to...
But...
You make me feel that i'm really a fool for using so much time on you...

Just because i want you to treat her better..
Doesn't mean that i already can accept this fact...
I really hope that i can make it better..
Hope that i can find my own happiness and continue my journey of life...

It nice that you willing to stop magic for her...
Like what i told you...
You like magic so much more than me...

Just thinking how much you have change for her makes me feel that..
I really not that suitable for you..
But...
For you that have change part of yourself for me..
Thank you...

I still will love you...
Maybe not as a future partner..
But, dear...love you always...

I can't stand it that i don't message you when you are so far away...
I send a message...
Assuming that you are oversea...

The next morning...
Know that you started playing..
Send you another message..
Good luck..
And you replied...

Thank you for that... :)

I still don't dare to go in facebook...
I know i will see lots of things in there...
I will stand strong...
I will try...
I will also miss you like how you miss her..

Take care...

When the truth lies in front of you...
What will you do?

I'm surprise that i didn't cry when i first saw it..
Maybe..
I'm too tired to cry anymore..

Heart still will pain..
Like a knife hit it tremendously...
But..
What can I do?
Life still goes on...

My dear...
Like i always mention in my  post...
Take good care of her...

Not easy for you to find each other finally...
It will not be an easy road..
Like what we face previously...
Just...
Hope that everything will goes on well for you....

Girl...
Still need to comfort...need to tham..
Don't always want to win...
Love may be blind...
But..Reality is there...
So, do take care of her heart as well...

Goodbye my dear..
My love one...

Some how some where...
Everyone say the same thing...
But still it doesn't goes into my mind...

I was told to stop contacting you...
Stop stalking you...
But i couldn't ...

Why i need to face this type of thing?
Can i just be a normal human being that someone loves someone care?

Now that you have her...
I can't force you to do anything any more right?

Someone will be calling you dear..
And you will be calling someone else dear...
Miss you my dear...
That is no longer here...

Where should i find you?

Today...
A few person have been asking me how are you..
including you...
What do you think?

How to face the fact that i'm hurt?
My boss told me not to tell you that i'm hurt...
But..
What's the differences?
Even you know..
Will you turn back?

How to be "siu sa" and walk away?
You all say alot times already..
Yet...
I still can't...
7 months...
What have i been thinking?

Please concentrate on your work now...
Maybe along the way..
You will be better...
You will found your true one....
 I hope this is true...

I need a hug...
Someone please hug me....
:(

Good night...

I know where you went..
And who you went with..

I don't know what you trying to do..
You told me that sorry..
You didn't manage to reply me..
But..
You managed to post things on facebook...

Maybe you are with her...
Not convienent to message me..
I nderstand...
But...
I really not happy...
I'm sorry...

Today...
I try to fill my time as much as possible...
Not to think of you...
Yet...
I still do...

Reach Sepang Super GT...
Saw the cars you like...
Saw miku you like...
All i could think of is you...
How much fun you having there and all...

When will i find myself back?
I start to don't know what i like...
What i want...

I know i need help this time...

I almost break off  the secret me and your sister kept today..
She don't know you going manila for magic..
She thought company trip..
I suddenly say you go korea and phuket..
They like so weird..
Why i know she don't know...

You talk to them more la...
She's your sister..
and they are your family members...
I can't talk to you so much already..
If you don't want...
Maybe she can help you out...
Be more close to them..
When anything happen...
Still family is the one that matters most...

Take care...
Good night...

Another 1 month till my birthday and 2 months till our anniversary...
More like an ex-anniversary...
A word that i have been resisted to use for the past months...

Reading your post yesterday and today..
Make me feel more lonely...
Not sure you went with her or your company...

But, i still remember asking you to see sunrise with me at Kuantan...
You don't want..
Want to sleep :(

And now...
You can watch beautiful sunrise together...

I always tell myself that...
I should give up..
I will find someone better..
Someone that really love me and care for me...
But..
Why i still felt it?

Should i block you?
But blocking it's  just falling into denial again..
Will i get to pull myself up from this hole that i have been digging for so long...
Will another prince charming come and save me?

My dear,
I'm glad that you are happy..
You see the future once again..
But, if once you turn back,
You will see the one that you once love...
Still hurt...
Still struggling...

I know..
It has been a tough road for you as well...
And i hope...
Although i hate to say this....
This new one will really bring happiness to you...
Loving you always...

Didn't get to talk to you ever since yesterday...

How?
I so want to talk to you so badly..
You told me to ask you things in msn if i don't know..
But..

If i continue to dependent on you,
when will i let you go?

:(
Thinking about yesterday's hugs...
Missing you...

Good night..

I wonder what you feel when we finally split the line..
I was really angry at you when you want to cut the line off if i don't cooperate with you..
It's not that i don't want to cooperate but i'm working..
I have meeting...
Don't use those words towards me ok?
I know i hurt you before...
But the damage on me is worst than you can think...

Sorry..
I got angry and took off the necklace you gave me..

So, yes..
We went and split the line..
You asked lots of questions and answered lots of it..
You were busy checking your phone, calling..
Not sure...
Maybe message her...
Don't know...

But, you look so different...
Your face got so many scar...
You look so tired...
You cut your beard...
leaving 1...
or maybe you didn't see that..

You asked about my condition, my work, my family...
I just answered...
Because i don't dare to ask you what i want to know because i don't want to hear things that i don't want to... :(

You asked for a hug before i leave..
Is this the last hug that you will give me...
Or...
I don't know...
I still feel you...
You hug is so powerful...
So tight and firm...
Make me don't want to leave you..
But i know..
I can't hug long..
I know i need to let go...

Miss you so much...
Thank you for everything...
Really..
I will always love you...
Even when i want to hate you..
I still turn out to still care about you...

If what i feel is really true...
I want you to take good care of her..
Make her happy like you once did to me...
Although i don't want to give you to her...
I still want you to be happy...
Loving you is my the best thing i ever did..

Thank you...
Won't be wishing you alone good night again..
Maybe just here...
Good night..

even i know that this will happen one day... why i still feel so sad?? why i still want to wish you to be happy yet i can't be happy myself? how to make this feelings away? being a stone maybe it's not a bad choice afterall... won't need to have feelings for anyone.. don't have to be sad... don't have to be happy... just need to sit at a corner.. without anyone realise you are there or not... because they won't realise whether you have change or not... happy or sad... nothing to show... i always think that there will always still chance for us... since you say you not sure about future.. why bluff me when you know that it's not true?? why make me trust you when you know you will not stay... why???? i know i cannot blame you because this is what i choose.. maybe. this is the result and i have to bear with the consequences.. i'm sorry... i know i say i won't cry for you anymore... but i did... once again... you break my heart that haven't heal... i'm sorry to myself... i broke your own promise.. good nite my dear.. forever not mine anymore...

I know what you are doing..
And i felt it so much...
Because i know what is happening?

Why must you do back the same thing you to me to her?
The games, songs, and things you did to make me happy..
To laugh at your jokes...
To smile and pampered with your songs...
That song i introduced to you...
Can't you keep it for us?

Why do i have to deal with this?
I feel like blocking you so much...
That i don't have to see all this anymore..
But...
I don't want to lose contact with you...
I still want you in my life..
Maybe you don't need me anymore...

But..
You made an important point in my life..
And i wish to keep this memories...
As for now..
It's the best i ever had...

I hope...
My time spent with you..
You will treasure it as well..
Only to know that it's impossible... :(
Take care my dear..
Take care of her as well...

Chester asked..
Cedric answered Kenneth la...

I said no..
He said don' bluff...
Even children also don't believe me :(

They like to ask this question...
When only will i get to answer them?
Can someone please help me to answer them...

While outside whole day with mum...
Whole brain keep thinking...

If i meet you here..
What i should do..
Since you like to bring me to new places previously...

But..
I never do...

***************************************************

Today..
Keep finding ways to hide from mum about her present...
She so cute...
She said "i want present...."
We didn't give her her Mother's Day present and Birthday Present yet...
So pity... :P

Will see when can we keep the secret...
Or maybe we should reveal it...
Hehe...
Thinking...

Good Night...

of 3rd job...

Spend the whole day...
facebook, msn, looking at strangers and smile...

Hope that next week will be better..
At least some fun stuff to work with...

He's having fun..
Seems so happy..
Maybe even happier than with me..
That's why he can let go so easily...
Should be happy for him that he found someone better..
More suitable for him than me..

But..
Why i feel heart not well?
Felt it so much... :(

Will you get me someone else as well?
So that i can move on as well?
:(

Seems like you have been happy when i'm away..
You finally changed your status..
Maybe..
I really need to do something...
Really...

Please focus on work, friends and also family..
Don't think anymore la..
:(

Tomorrow start new work..
You should be happy...
Don't think so much k..
Please..
Go and sleep...

Good night

Yes..
And i Guess it correctly..
Any present for me?

I somehow wish that this thing that i guess not true...
Why must it come true?
Why you want to do so?
Why the things that i wish didn't come true..
But things that i didn't wish for come true...

I asked for him to be by my side..
Not leaving me further and further...

If last time, i heard anyone say going to kepong..
I will be very glad to follow..
Because after that,
I can meet you..
But..
Now..
I'm scared...
I don't know what i should expect..
What i should not think anymore...

How should it end?
Is this the way you wanted it to be?

Today...
It's weird...
Cause you very long time didn't approach me already...

Today you started the conversation..
Then in facebook you also start the conversation...

Receive your message really comforting..
Don't know why..
Already it's just a simple hi... what you are doing...

Hmm...
Maybe i'm still not use to it...
Give me abit more time k...
I will try...

Thinking what to do is really a difficult task..
How come there's no guidelines on where to go, what to do in life?
Why must let us try out the path that we decide to?
Why don't you decide it for us?
Then we don't have to fall down..
Hurt..And climb back up again and try?

Then, everyone will be happily ever after...
As you will meet the correct person..
At the correct time and place...
With the correct feel...
Everything would be perfect...

But...
It's not like that...
Everything also need to decide..
You asked whether i got go midvalley or not tomorrow...
The last time you asked that..
You wanted to cut off my line...
Is this what you wanted to do as well?
Why..
Talk half way then went away?
What is in your mind that you wanted to say but don't dare to say?
To ask me...
Stay away from you?
To tell me..
About your new girlfriend?
Or what?

Can you stop breaking promise?
Like..
Need to say byebye and good night?
Only me...
That tries not to break it..
But i already do..
Sometimes...
Maybe...
You won't care about it anymore also....

At least...
If you are with me..
I don't need to make this decision...
I will be much easier..
I will confirm stay...

But...
Now...
I don't know...
I want to stay..
I want to go...
:(

Can you please tell me what i should do?

I finally told you about the offer..
After you asked me about the interview the other day...

Early in the morning..
Singapore company called and asked whether confirmed or not..
Inform them about the salary...
She will re-discuss about it...

Then, asked another company...
Should be hired..

Now what?
Which side should i go...
You answered me..
Go la...better money...

Now...
The money is not really better...
Should i go?

I can't decide...
HUHUHUHHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU.....

Someone ask me out for a date..
And...
I rejected him..
It's funny...
I don't know how to answer him..
And... this is how it goes...

I don't know what should i decide...

I always wanted to go singapore to work..
So that i can get rid of you...
So that i won't have the urge to go and meet you...
So that i won't be able to drive a car and find you when i want to...
So that i can maybe find someone better..and take care of me...
So that i can start a new life..
Without you...

I know it will be even more difficult than here...
But i still want to give it a try...

But now..
When i get an offer...

I don't know whether i should go or not..
Can i really leave everything behind and move on like you did?
Should i leave here?
The place where our memories belong?

I really don't know...
Being here...
With my family near me..
I still can feel the pain and loneliness...

If i have to live alone,
Outside there..
What will it be?

I don't know..
I really don't...
I don't know what i should do..

Should i still stand strong on my thoughts?
Or should i stay here?
Being near where i feel comfortable the most?
Or ... is it still??

I'm confused..
I don't know what i want..
I don't know what i need..
I don't know what to look for...

I miss you alot..
haven't meet you for more than a month...
Take good care...
Good night...

You wish me good luck for my interview yesterday..
Sorry..
I didn't wish you good night..
Only managed to see your message this morning...
I try to stop the habit to wish you good night..

You asked about my interview today...
You still remember about it?
And you wish me luck again before leaving to prepare for the presentation..

I was worried..
I was nervous..
Having you by side..
Really calms me alot...
But...

When i'm alone there..
I still feel it..
I wanted to message you so much..
To tell you..
Or maybe to call you..
Just to hear you...
But i know i can't...

Somehow..
I don't know whether i want this interview to be successful or not..
I want it to be successful so that i can stay here..
Somewhere near you and my family...
So that i can pursue what i wanted..
But...If this is successful..
I will lose a big chance to be even successful in singapore...
I don't know..

Which should i choose?

I really got a chance to go to singapore to work...
To go away from you..and places that is related to you...

But...
I don't know whether i really wanted to go or not..

Put aside that..
The pay offered...
Is low...
But..
If I'm really successful,
I will have a great career...
If I'm not...
I still will have a job in Singapore...

Given the chance to develop my own company...
It's really once in a lifetime chance..
I want to go for it..

But...
Can i handle the stress?
Can i really cope?
Can i build up a company on my own?
Can i really do what she can do?
I don't know..
I doubt my own ability...

Asides..
Being far away from my family...
Far away from you...
Can i do it?
No one will be there for me to bug on..
No one will be there to spend time with me..
No one will be there to help me out...

Dear...
I want to hear your opinion...
But...
I don't think it matters to you anymore... :(

Good night...

You said that you slept already yesterday..
But you replied my facebook message 2 hours later...

Anyhow...
Still glad that you replied my messages...

I wonder what you are thinking and what you are doing..
I want to be the one to listen..
To help you out in the problem..
But...
You seems like will never talk to me about problems...
Ups and Downs anymore..
Only hi...
What are you doing...
How are you...

Miss you...
Haven't seen you ever since Hunger Games..
Take care..

Tired...

Will reblog about today tomorrow...

Good night...

Everyone don't seem to agree..
Why?

Because you all think that i go there work because of him..
Maybe before this...
I have that in mind...
But now..
No..
I want to work what i really want..
I want to do what i really want to do...

It's enough that i used quarter of my life on parent's decision...
I know you are reading this..
Please..
Tell them..

I still miss him..
I still want to see him..
I still want to be with him..

But..
Without him..
I still want to do what i want to do..
I still want to chase my dreams..

I know this will be difficult..
Waiting and hanging on here..
I can only wait for the new thing to fill in my broken heart..
I need something to push the sadness away..
And make myself happy again..

Maybe..
I still can't smile like previously..
But I still want to smile once awhile..
Until..
I can really smile again...

Good night...

No chance to type blog at Sandakan..

They still pass message about gathering..

Today didn't get to say good night to you..
Maybe you are asleep..
Or maybe you are just busy playing Diablo..
Don't know..

You careful la..
Will be a busy day tomorrow..

You take care..
Good night

I don't understand why you want to ask me about my status..

When i don't care..
You care.

When you care..
I don't know what to do.. :(

Why don't you just post at my facebook..
But choose to contact me personally..
Is it you scare someone else see we still in contact..
Or you really still care?

I don't know..

I'm trying..
I hope I can do it..

You so busy..
Making video to submit..

Jia you k..
Don't make ownself so tired..
Hope your video will get some award..

Take care..
Good night...

You said hi...
after a whole day of without contact...
I'm happy of course..

We talked..
About today..
About games..
About work..

Weird thing is..
I know what you doing..
But you told me that you are doing something else..
Maybe..
You have alot of computer now that you can multi task?
Not sure..

Just that..
Dear..
I'm starting to let go..
I know it's hard..
I still need to try..

Coz I know...
What I need to do for my future..
I love you...

tong zai yan zhong bian cheng lei zai xin zhong bian cheng hui
痛 在眼中變成淚 在心中變成灰
Pain, in my eyes it has become tears, in my heart it has become ashes

mei you shen me neng an wei
沒有什麼能安慰
There isn't anything that can comfort me

pa bei shi jian bian cheng lei bei xiang xiang bian cheng bei
怕 被時間變成累 被想像變成悲
Afraid, that time will make me tired, turning what I have imagined to grief

xi wang dou bei fen sui
希望都被粉碎
Hope has all been crushed

bu an you shi hui beng kui you shi hui yuan DUI
不安有時會崩潰 有時會怨懟
When I feel uneasy I would sometimes break down, sometimes I would enmity

hao xiang zen me dui dai dou bu dui
好像怎麼對待都不對
It seems like whatever you do/treat it/ isn't right

kan de chu ni yin cang duo shao de pi BEI
看得出你隱藏多少的疲憊
It can be seen how much exhaustion you have hidden

que hai shi jian chi zhe ai bu duan jia bei
卻還是堅持著愛不斷加倍
But you still strongly believe that love will continue to double

rang wo gan dong ye rang wo kui dui
讓我感動也讓我愧對
It has made me really touched and made me feel ashamed

xie xie ni men ai wo de mei ge ren
謝謝你們 愛我的每個人
Thank you, each and everyone who love me

zai wo de ren sheng zui xiang yi chang e meng de lü cheng
在我的人生最像一場惡夢的旅程
who have accompanied me to break and bravely wake up

pei wo zheng tuo yong gan de qu xing lai
陪我掙脫 勇敢地去醒來
from this journey in my life, which is the most like a nightmare,

dang wo de hu wei wei wo DAO gao xin ling geng qiang ren
當我的護衛 為我禱告心靈更強韌
(thank you) for being my bodyguards and for praying for me so that my heart will become even more robust

xie xie ni men ai wo de mei ge ren
謝謝你們 愛我的每個人
Thank you, each and everyone who love me

rang wo nu li HOU ke yi xie xie zi ji hen tan cheng
讓我努力後可以謝謝自己很坦誠
for letting me work hard so I'll be able to thank myself then for being honest

hui xiang bu tong huo jue wang dao duo kai
會想不通 或絕望到躲開
I would (sometimes) not understand or lose hope and hide away

dan ni men zuo de zong rang wo xiang jian qiang fu ze ren wei le ai zhong sheng
但你們做的 總讓我想堅強負責任 為了愛重生
But the things you do always make me want to be strong and take responsibility and to be reborn for love

xin bai tuo ye de hei wang lan tian er fei bei yang guang bao wei
心 擺脫夜的黑 往藍天而飛 被陽光包圍
Heart, has broken away from the darkness of the night and is flying towards the blue skies being surrounded by sunlight

zhi wei le ni yi ju wo xiao de hao mei
只為了 你一句我笑得 好美
For one sentence you say I would smile beautifully

wo ren zhu le tai man zhang de lei
我忍住了 太漫長的淚
I would hold in the long-lasting tears

kan de chu ni yin cang duo shao de pi BEI
看得出你隱藏多少的疲憊
It can be seen how much exhaustion you have hidden

que hai shi jian chi zhe ai bu duan de jia bei
卻還是堅持著愛不斷地加倍
But you still strongly believe that love will continue to double

rang wo gan dong ye rang wo kui dui
讓我感動也讓我愧對
It has made me really touched and made me feel ashamed

I love you, but will you still remember??

He edited the pictures and made bear bear smile...
Why is this work not done by you?
But by him, who i rejected?

I don't know whether he know about the story behind this bear or not...
But..
Where are you?
Why you can come into my life one day..
And went missing another day...

Is this what you like doing?
Playing games on me?
Or more to revenge?

I know i wrong..
And I know you wrong also..
I'm willing to forgive and accept my mistake...
Yet...
You don't care...

Everyone everywhere..
Wants me to give up...
Just one word from you "don't"...
I will not...
But..
You didn't say anything...
You just come and go as you like..

Did you think about my situation..
What you have been doing to me?
Did you ever realise?
What i should do?

I want to give up...
And i don't want to let go...
How am i suppose to do this?
Like what you say..
You didn't give up..
You just move on..
How you did that?

Crying the heart out is really painful..
Even without tears..
Can feel it.. :(

I cried alot last night...
Talked to her for hours..
Till like 5am this morning...
I know her logic..
I know what she tries to do..
But yet..
I still can't do what she wants me to do...

You messaged me first in msn today..
Ask how am i..and my wound..
Thanks..
Really appreciate it..

I don't know..
Like she say..
Maybe it's for real that you are taking me as a backup..
I told her..
I'm willing..
As long as you don't put me aside..

But how long can i wait for you?
When will you return?
Or will you ever return??

I miss your hugs...
Miss you lotz....

You have been avoiding me the whole day..

Not sure whether you are really busy or what..
But you have time to post in facebook...

You choose to break promise..
But i don't want to..
Can i have lunch/dinner with you tomorrow?
I don't dare to ask you...
I have been rejected so many times...
And yet..
I still want to try...

Is this naive?
Maybe..
I think so...
Or maybe it's just thick face..
Don't want to give up...
Like teacher say...
It's just that i don't want to admit that i made the wrong decision at the first step of getting in a relationship with you...
Or...
It's just that i don't want to admit that i made the wrong decision to call for break up...

But..
I already admit it..
I said i'm sorry...
But that's no point of turning back...
Why?
Why when you do mistake then i always want to forgive you?
But when i do mistake..
You can don't care..
Can find new target?

Should i do the same also?
No...
I don't want to hurt those people who love me by pretending to love them...
I miss you..
Just be safe..
Careful...

Sometimes i really don't understand what you thinking...
Why you like to offline online offline online?
Maybe is just me..
Too free to see what you doing...

Hmm...Wonder what do you have in mine..
Really miss knowing what you thinking and doing...

Take good care..
Good night...

What to do when you can't do anything??
I found it..
But what can i do?
NOTHING!

I hate it when i can't do anything..
So sad..

You were there to repeat tell me what i should do..
But..
I still don't dare to risk..
I need you by my side..
But i don't dare to mention it again..
Because..
Everytime i tell you...
You get more and more angry...

Sorry...
I still love you...
Miss you my dear..

I still can't stand not having your messages and news..

I thought that i'm ok already..
Since i can do other things whole day..
Till night only send you a good night message...
But,
The feelings are coming back again..

I don't know..
What is wrong with me?
I have tried to stop thinking..

Not that there isn't anyone else by my side..
Yet..
I still can't let go...
I really don't know what i can do...

I'm sorry...
I still want you by my side..

Everyone was there during the dinner...
Just...
Thinking..
It will be nicer if i have you here...

Miss you so much....

I miss you...
And now i really need you..
When i'm in pain...
I messaged you..
Told you that i hope that you were here..
You told me that you are at work...
Can't come over...
Even not at work..
Will you come and visit me?

I hold her hands..
But my whole mind was thinking about you...

I was in pain..
Yet..
All i think is still you...
What should i do without you?

It's raining heavily outside..
Have a good night sleep..
Hope that the wound will be better tomorrow..

Went and Sing K Today...
Most of the songs i sang are broken heart songs without realising it...
Until, i can feel the song lyrics...
Saying bout us...
I'm sorry for the things that i did to you....

I started to feel you are a stranger to me..

All the things that you posted in facebook..
I can't relate..
I don't know what you are talking about..
I felt the pain :(

Good night...

Haven't post blog for 2 days i think..
Hmm..
What have i been thinking?
Waiting for you to come back to me?

I receive few miss call and message from you..
I didn't manage to answer them..
Either i didn't heard them..
Or i was busy..
I'm sorry...

I don't know whether you care for me or you just want to know why i didn't on msn find you...
I really want to know what you are thinking...
When i talk to you..
You just keep a distance..
And don't really talk..
Until i talk to you...

Dear..
I really want to call you this..
But..
You don't allow me to call anymore..
I'm sorry..
I really don't know what else i should say other than that...

Missing you... :(